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Emotional Affair | What is an emotional affair

Am I in danger of having an emotional affair?

   

 - Am I in danger of having an emotional affair?
Unfortunately, an emotional affair can creep up on you, as it is not so clear cut as ‘Oh no, I slept with someone else.’ However, you can still spot an emotional affair, and put a stop to it.

Here are some signs you might be entering into an emotional affair:

• If anything happens to you - be it exciting, or upsetting - you always tell one specific person who isn’t your partner

• When you meet up with that person, you feel guilty but don’t know why

• You hide your meetings and conversations with that person, from your partner

• You and your partner are drifting apart and/or arguing more

• You find yourself wondering if you are developing stronger feelings for your ‘friend’

What do I do now?

If you recognise any of these signs then you need to take a step back from your friendship to decide what you really want.

Ask yourself what role they're fulfilling - are you lonely? Don't you have anyone else to talk to? Does he compliment you? Make you feel good about yourself? If you're not getting these things at home it's time to tell your current man what else you need from him. He's not a mind reader. It doesn't have to be a fight, it should just be an open discussion.

Don’t confide in the other person - you will need to try and work through this with a clear head. Talk to friends who don't know your "other" man to get a different perspective.

Ask yourself if your relationship is really over - It is possible that your emotional affair has made you realise that you and your partner aren’t right for each other, in which case it’s up to you to do the right thing, and either end the relationship or talk to your partner about working things out.

Whatever happens, it’s not fair to string someone along by pretending that you really are ‘just friends’ with the other person.

Get some distance - Wean yourself off your "other" man. Stop confiding personal details and get things back to friendly without too much intimacy.




  
 

Love & Sex Editor
05/05/2012
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