and I hardly ever make love any more. Is this normal after 10 years
Lots of couples
find they have sex less after they have been together for a long time,
even if they still love each other dearly. Remember that imagination
contributes a lot to lust, which explains the intense desire of couples
who rarely see each other. They fantasise about their next meeting,
about how their partner will look and what they are going to do together,
which increases the anticipation and excitement in the relationship.
They think about it beforehand and dream about it afterwards.
You can do the same thing. Make things lighthearted and never let
routine creep into your love life. Surprise each other, spontaneous
sex is always the best. Remember the excitement of the first few times
you made love, then remember that it is still the same person!
Your worst enemy
in the bedroom is habit, don't let it destroy sex for you. Variety
is the spice of life, so put your imagination to work: use a mirror
to watch yourselves making love, change positions, try new places.
Try making love when you think you haven't got time - the excitement
of being caught out or having a naughty reason why you're late for
work is very erotic. Follow the sex therapists' advice - little and
often. Even if you don't have a long session, it is better to make
love more often than not as it will stimulate your desire.
It can be hard
for working mothers with demanding jobs, but take every chance you
can for romance and see what develops. Try to make time for sex, if
you do, you will feel revitalised and energised, which is surely no
bad thing! The best cure for tiredness is endorphin, secreted every
time you have an orgasm.
Julien, Sex Therapist