suffers from premature ejaculation. What can we do?"
This is one of
the most common sexual problems around. The women hasn't had time
to have an orgasm and is left feeling frustrated or angry, while the
man feels inadequate. The
upshot is that they both are left wanting.
for him :
frequently to lean how to de-sensitise yourself a little. When you
feel yourself coming, stop and wait before carrying on, this way you
can train yourself to ejaculate when you want to.
A soon as you
feel you are about to come during sex itself, stop moving, close your
eyes and think of something else. Use your whole brain to take yourself
out of the moment, count to 30 and then back down again.
Try using pressure to stop yourself from coming too quickly, apply
pressure to the base of your penis with your thumb and forefinger,
or If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, ask them to do
for her :
Ask your partner to stimulate you without penetration. Caress him
back, but avoid touching his erogenous zones.
When you feel him stop moving (see above), stop too, stay turned on
by fantasising or touching yourself. Try the pressure technique described
above. If he comes too early, masturbate, or ask your partner to masturbate
you to orgasm, to get rid of any frustration or aggression. If you
both stay calm and take your time, you will end up feeling fulfilled.
Do not let your
problem affect your, or your partner's sexual confidence and ability
to bring each other to orgasm. Premature ejaculation is normally due
to a lack of confidence, so make love as much as you can and show
him how attractive you find him. The more you practise the techniques
above, the longer he will be able to last, you might find that you
are able to orgasm more easily too.
Julien, Sex Therapist