"I find it hard to reach orgasm, but my partner is doing everything he can. What's the problem?

Remind yourself that an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sex. Making love should be about lots of different feelings, if you concentrate too hard on achieving orgasm, you may stop it from coming. You wouldn't try to climb a flight of stairs starting at the top, would you?

No two orgasms are the same, each time you make love it will be different and it is perfectly normal not to have an orgasm every time you make love, this can sometimes be very enjoyable in itself. Next time you have sex, remind yourself of all the pleasure you can have without an orgasm and relax - paradoxically, this may bring you a more intense orgasm.

Once the feelings come, concentrate on the sensations in your body and forget everything else. Studies show that women almost always orgasm through masturbation, but rarely (and for some, never) through sex. This is simply down to the fact that when masturbating alone, they are concentrating purely on themselves. Prioritise your peasure.

Maude Julien, Sex Therapist