"I find it hard to reach orgasm, but my partner
is doing everything he can. What's the problem?"
Remind yourself
that an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sex. Making love should
be about lots of different feelings, if you concentrate too hard on
achieving orgasm, you may stop it from coming. You wouldn't try to
climb a flight of stairs starting at the top, would you?
No two orgasms
are the same, each time you make love it will be different and it
is perfectly normal not to have an orgasm every time you make love,
this can sometimes be very enjoyable in itself. Next time you have
sex, remind yourself of all the pleasure you can have without an orgasm
and relax - paradoxically, this may bring you a more intense orgasm.
Once the feelings
come, concentrate on the sensations in your body and forget everything
else. Studies show that women almost always orgasm through masturbation,
but rarely (and for some, never) through sex. This is simply down
to the fact that when masturbating alone, they are concentrating purely
on themselves. Prioritise your peasure.
Maude
Julien, Sex Therapist
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