1. OMG my legs, it’s like somebody tied weights to my kankles.
2. My calf muscles just aren’t aren’t cut out for this sh*t.
3. FML if I trip up the stairs what hope have I got coming down?
4. Walking down an escalator quietly? Not going to happen.
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5. Oh great, the pregnant feet conversation again. Should have prepared myself for that one #howoriginal
6. Is it me, or do my feet look like they’re wearing Monster Munch in a balaclava?
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7. Seriously, I can’t feel anything below my hips.
8. Cork is squelching, cork is squelching, cork is SQUELCHING.
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9. My Tinder date will never understand my choice of footwear, these things REPEL men.
10. But they look so fashion chic in photos...
11. They’re so much more than just a flip flop.
12. I thought they were supposed to be comfy, turns out cork rubs like a b*tch.
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13. I feel short, like a lot shorter. In a suspicious, stumpy teapot kinda way.
14. My god how do people walk elegantly in these things, all I’m hearing is flip, flop, shuffle, scuff.
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15. Calf length skirt and Birks... bye bye legs.
16. Are people staring, I feel like people are staring?
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17. People ARE staring and judging.
18. LOVE stubbing my toe.
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19. There’s no way you can wear these if you have a long second toe. I mean it hangs over and tries to grip the cork. Like a claw.
20. Ugly effing shoes. Why did I buy these?
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21. Maybe I’ll buy another pair, I want them in tan.
22. Nobody has feet this wide.
23. NOBODY!
They might be ugly, they might weigh down our pins, they might dictate a life of singledom, but at least we’ll be fashionable in the process.
© Birkenstocks
23 Thoughts Every Girl Has When Wearing Birkenstocks
This article was written by Lareese Craig. Follow her @LareeseCraig
What goes through your mind when you’re wearing Birkies? Tweet us @sofeminineUK
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