Make Love Not Porn: Can this woman save our sex lives?

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Make Love Not Porn: Can this woman save our sex lives?

Make Love Not Porn - Is Cindy Gallop the saviour of all our sex lives? 

If, like us, you've checked out porn, had the moves laid on you in the bedroom or even found yourself pulling some porno inspired positions, then you might need a helping hand from Cindy Gallop and her latest venture to shake up the way we think, talk and act when it comes to sex. Her way of thinking? Make Love Not Porn.

© Kevin Abosch - Make Love Not Porn: Can this woman save our sex lives?
© Kevin Abosch
This is the name of the new user generated website that allows real people to upload sex videos of themselves in a bid to counter the effects that porn is having in our bedrooms.

But before you dismiss it as another porn site with a twist, think again, MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is a whole lot more.

First off forget the compulsory 'facials,' the stock porn stereotypes, the unrealistic moans of women signalling 'I'm cumming' every five seconds and all the fake breasts and hairless bodies - MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is all about real sex.

Cindy believes that 'real world sex' has been obscured by 'porn world sex' where the younger generations (male and female) have come to accept porn as what really goes on in the bedroom.

And with a recent survey of 1000 young people findng kids of 11 and 12 getting to grips with hardcore porn, it seems nows a good time to have the debate about putting more realistic interpretations of sex in front of people. After all, porn and sex are two very different things.

Something that Cindy has first hand experience of. As a woman in her fifties with a background in advertising, some may ask why is she setting up her MLNP venture now. 

But it's all rooted in first hand experiences. She freely admits she is into: "Casually and recreationally dating younger men predominantly in their twenties"...

...which is why the idea for MakeLoveNotPorn came about. 

Cindy explains: "There was one very entertaining time with a 22 year old guy and it was our first night together and we had a session when he broke out the porn moves and I thought OK I’m going to let this one ride.

It was very clear he wanted to impress me but post sex I happened to reference casually that I hadn’t cum and jumping up he said 'you didn’t cum?' and I thought to myself 'what in the last hour that I had done could have possibly  have caused you to think that I’ve cum?' Clearly all of the porn that he’d watched made him think that every ‘huh uh uh’ meant that you were cumming every second."

See what we mean about saving our sex lives? Cindy Gallop is serious about changing attitudes about sex and representing it in a way that's sexy for both men and women - but also helpful too.

We met the legendary Cindy Gallop when she hot-footed over to London from her infamous home in New York to find out a little bit more of why we should be turning off the porn and getting turned on by making love. 

What is it? 
In a nutshell MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is a user generated social platform where, for a small fee real, ordinary people can upload videos of themselves having and enjoying real sex and others can watch and do the same. 
 
But what constitutes 'real sex' we hear you ask? Cindy explains: 

"Real sex is not about performing for the camera. Real world sex is more innovative, more creative, more amazing, more surprising, more hot and more arousing than porn will ever be. 
Real sex is funny, if you can't laugh at yourself during sex then when can you, real sex is messy and most importantly real sex is safe."  

That means all of the moments that happens in real life that porn casually misses out, so queefs (yes we know you're cringing), awkward condom moments, laughter, period sex (now we're cringing) and all.

Now don't let the word 'fee' put you off. Cindy has based this venture as a business and makes no qualms about the financial pay off of her idea, but it's not just for her, it's for you guys too. 

For a small fee you can submit videos to the site or pay to download a video and watch it as much as you want for 3 weeks. The upside is that for every video you submit you will get 50% of the revenue that it generates by being viewed on the site.

Gallop says: "We think it has the potential to be the Etsy of Sexy." We think we'll leave that for now...

The site is currently in the Beta stage and working on an invitation only basis but with 100,000 people signing up in only nine weeks from around the world you can see that MakeLoveNotPorn.tv means business.

Why Love not Porn?

Three years ago when Cindy started to date younger men she found a rather strange and alarming pattern emerge.

Cindy says: "I came across an issue that never would have crossed my mind if I hadn’t encountered it very directly and personally. This issue was what happens when the freedom to access porn meets our total reluctance as a society to talk openly and honestly about sex? Porn becomes default sex education."

And that's something that's already happening to younger and younger generations. Prof Andy Phippen who surveyed children across the country found boys were using "highly sexualised" language from a young age with some getting addicted to porn.

He told Metro: "Some people are getting hooked on porn then are not able to perfom in the real world. It can be very damaging."

Many of you right now might know what she's talking about. From being asked to do things in the bedroom more suited to a porn set or pressured into trying things that are made to look normalised via porn. That includes everything from cum in the face to anal sex, threesomes and watersports.

So, that's where MakeLoveNotPorn.com comes in. It aims to dispel the myths of hardcore porn and balance them with what actually happens between the sheets.

"I wanted to make a website that will post the myth of hard-core porn against reality. It's porn world versus real world, this is what happens in the porn world, this is what really happens", she explains.

At the same time came the infamous TED Talk where, ever the impressive public speaker, she shocked the summit with talks of fluids on faces and started to give the media the ball boost to face up to what was happening, then everything went a little quiet.

Three years later and a whole lot of sweat, blood and tears (yes that can be applied to the videos too) and here is MakeLoveNotPorn.tv. 

Is this not just more porn? 
The tag line for MakeLoveNotPorn is 'pro-sex, pro-porn, pro knowing the difference'.
 
This isn't about being anti-pornography, porn is too big, too mainstream and too ingrained in our society to ever think about tackling it head on. The way to make a difference to our views of sex is to provide a counterpoint.

It's not all blowjobs, missionary, reverse cowboy, cum-on-her-face and spit roasts, real sex is a whole lot more than that and it's time we all started acknowledging it and enjoying it. 

And we couldn't agree more.

The Five best things to come out of Cindy Gallop: 
1. "Someone once said (about oral sex) is that if you’re eyebrows aren’t wet then you’re not doing it properly."

We like the sound of this...

2. "Men want to make women cum and porn is not teaching them how to! Equally porn is not teaching young women how to expect/ask for/and obtain their own pleasure. Make Love Not Porn.tv will!"

We like this idea!

3."As 99percent of the porn industry is made by men for men, the entire be all and end all of every single porn scene is to get the man off. As a result we now have an entire generation of guys and girls growing up believing that the entire point of sex is to get the man off - this needs to be changed."

Cindy we salute you! 

4. "One of the things I have to explain to men is that I like to watch porn, I like to get myself off, but all of it is made for guys. I cannot get away from watching it through the lens of female experience, so I’m like 'OK I know that hurts, I know if she keeps her leg up like that for one more second she’s going to get cramp, I know that nothing in that position will make her cum...OK I’m find it really difficult to get myself off. Of course none of that is occurring to the guy, at all."

Bring on the real life sex!

5. "Porn does men a huge dis-service, even though it’s all for them - it makes them think that sex is purely d*ck centric."

Remember boys, it takes two to tango! 
 



What do you think?
Cindy is a god-send and with MLNP we'll all be getting off better, together
We've got enough videos of people having sex online, why should there be more?
Love the idea but no-way will I be uploading.
Sign me up now!

  

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