"My partner suffers from premature ejaculation. What can we do?"

This is one of the most common sexual problems around. The women hasn't had time to have an orgasm and is left feeling frustrated or angry, while the man feels inadequate. The upshot is that they both are left wanting.

Advice for him :
Masturbate frequently to lean how to de-sensitise yourself a little. When you feel yourself coming, stop and wait before carrying on, this way you can train yourself to ejaculate when you want to.

A soon as you feel you are about to come during sex itself, stop moving, close your eyes and think of something else. Use your whole brain to take yourself out of the moment, count to 30 and then back down again.
Try using pressure to stop yourself from coming too quickly, apply pressure to the base of your penis with your thumb and forefinger, or If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, ask them to do it.

Advice for her :
During foreplay:
Ask your partner to stimulate you without penetration. Caress him back, but avoid touching his erogenous zones.

During sex:
When you feel him stop moving (see above), stop too, stay turned on by fantasising or touching yourself. Try the pressure technique described above. If he comes too early, masturbate, or ask your partner to masturbate you to orgasm, to get rid of any frustration or aggression. If you both stay calm and take your time, you will end up feeling fulfilled.

Do not let your problem affect your, or your partner's sexual confidence and ability to bring each other to orgasm. Premature ejaculation is normally due to a lack of confidence, so make love as much as you can and show him how attractive you find him. The more you practise the techniques above, the longer he will be able to last, you might find that you are able to orgasm more easily too.

Maude Julien, Sex Therapist