Organising the party

Would you ever think about throwing a divorce party for yourself or a friend? Here are a few golden rules to abide by. Thanks to Julie Vincent and Rebecca Hazan, founders of divorce party organisers The WOF (Wedding Out Factory) for their help.

Pick the right time
It's better to wait until you're in the right state of mind before you plan a divorce party: it might take a year or even two years for the pain, hatred and the toll of your ordeal to pass. Anne, 32, helped her friend Lizzie organise her divorce party. "We all got together as friends and persuaded her to mark getting her divorce with a celebration. Lizzie had been living apart from her ex-husband for a year, things were easier, and we wanted to encourage her to make a fresh start."

Hire a pro or plan it yourself?
Depending on what you want to do and what budget you lay at your disposal, you could call in a professional events organiser. Like wedding planners, they organise your party right down to the last detail: sending out invites, decorating the venue and organising food. But organising the event itself and getting your friends to help you is also a really good way of revelling in the friendship that has helped you through a difficult time.

Who to invite?
"My best friend held a massive BBQ party in her garden in the summer to celebrate her divorce," recalls Nora, 40. "She invited everyone, friends, parents, colleagues...even her ex-husband and his family were there!" So it is possible to invite the ex-husband to a divorce party, "as long as both of you have gone through the grieving and healing process and neither is in a vengeful state of mind." And it can be better to have a long guest list than a small list of your closest friends if you want the party to be lively.

Entertainment
Many women hire strippers, clairvoyants or DJs for the celebration of their newly-single status. Guests offer presents as they do at a wedding. "We wanted to keep it light and not make a fuss, so we got Lizzie jokey presents," chuckles Anne. "I bought her a candy bra!" A divorce party may start off like any other big soirée, but it can also take a fun or slightly wacky twist, with a mock ceremony at which the divorcee declares herself officially single and signs a register confirming she's a free woman again. You can even get medals...