Laughing about sex

Sexologist Catherine Solano says the key to good sex is having a sense of humour...

What inspired you to study sex and humour?
You know that old joke, "What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet all have in common? Men always miss them." I found it was really funny, but at the same time it is something that needs addressing. I wanted to approach sex in an original way using funny stories because most of the time we talk about sex in either scientific or smutty terms, which is a shame. 

So you don't think we should be taking sex seriously?
No, you can still take it seriously and laugh about it at the same time - they're not mutually exclusive! Sex is serious, but it's not something depressing! Laughing is the best form of communication in a relationship: there's nothing like a good giggle if you're having sexual problems and it brings you closer together. 

Do you think that men and women are well informed about sex?
There are a lot of sources of information, but that doesn't necessarily mean people are well informed. Our sexuality is closely linked to our emotions, and sometimes we only hear what we want to hear. And there are a lot of myths out there about sex. People get a utopian vision of what their sex lives should be like, and they end up with complexes because they think they're far off that false ideal.  

What preconceived ideas still exist about sex?
The idea that either you're good in bed or not. It's totally wrong: not everything might work well the first time round because you learn to have good sex. You might well be awkward and self-conscious at the beginning of your sex life, but it all comes with practice. Another popular myth is that sex three times a week is normal. In reality there is no 'normal' sexual rhythm - it's a very irregular thing. Some couples can go for a month without sex - it comes in stages. You also have to take the time you spend having sex into account. Calculating the time of each sex session is a pretty masculine thing, though!