Kate, 27, Derby
Before I met Jake you could say my sex life was a bit lame, though obviously I didn't think so at the time! I thought it was normal not to do certain things, but now I'm with him I don't see it as a problem. Before, I thought that talking during sex was corny, but now it's a big turn-on. I also thought that certain positions were off limits, but now I've tried them I really enjoy them!

I changed completely. I never ever thought any guy would make me want to go in for role-play or dressing up. Women dressing up in maid's outfits like in films, all that just made me want to throw up. But Jake has a bit of a thing about nurses, like in Kill Bill, and so I decided to dress up for him and we both enjoyed it. 

Sophie It can't be stressed enough: there are no sexual norms or fantasies everyone should have. Relationships are all about learning each other and getting to know what you like. We reinvent ourselves with a different partner, and our particularities make us special. Kate's vision of her sex life changed completely, but it might well not have done if she hadn't met Jake. She might have stayed the way she was and she might have been very happy that way. There simply are no rules!