Create a ritual that's got nothing to do with bathing the kids, weekly food shopping or sorting out the bills that need to be paid! It should be something you both enjoy that you can do regularly together. On the first Thursday evening of the month, get out of the house! It doesn't matter where you go: to a restaurant, the cinema, an exhibition, or just for a walk in the moonlight...

And take it in turns coming up with an idea. If one of you forgets, s/he has to suggest something another evening and do a forfeit: wash up, revise the 8 times table with your child, take the rubbish out, etc.

It's essential to set aside time for just the two of you. You don't need to spend loads of money to have fun. It could just be a candle-lit dinner, cooked with loving care and enjoyed at home, a massage evening in a sensual atmosphere, etc. If you can, get a baby-sitter to look after your children during your special evenings, or set up a system with your neighbours: you look after their kids one evening per month and they look after yours another evening. It's a win-win arrangement!