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Home / Relationships / Being in love / Keeping love alive

He wants kids, I don't: stories and expert advice

We asked five readers to share their stories with us, and asked our experts for their insight.

Sarah Horrocks
15/04/2009

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All reader comments

Have you been in the same situation?

cassieopea

disenchanted8806 I so agree with you - every comment is about what issues these women have like 'peter pan syndrome" etc what a load of rubbish! I don't want kids simple, am I lonely - no I have plenty of friends and family! I have three nieces to take out when I want and take them home a the end of the day. Why don't people just get that we don't want kids, there are people that will change thier minds and equally good on them form making that decision. Do I need psychotherapy? I am sorry but it is a simple for decision for some of us like not buying a dog!

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melissarumble

I wanted to have children from an early age..... and at a tender 20 i had my daughter (she was planned).....NOW i DONT want anymore children, as i feel i didn't get the whole mothering nuture thing.... If i felt like this b4 she was born i would NOT of had kids....I love my little girl, but there is no way i will ever be having more....
So good on those women who choose not to have kids, it is very strong of you.

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disenchanted8806

I feel like this article is saying that women that dont want kids are mentally disturbed. its a personal choice and i feel that women who decide against it are making a decision they believe to be in their best interests. Too many times ive seen children that are not properly taken care of, untied shoes, dirty clothes and faces, unbrushed hair, following a mother with a coach bag.

I do not feel that because i do not want a child i have 'issues'. i feel i would be an unfit mother. This article disappointed me. i feel it could have been a little less one sided.

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smartgirl007

tell him when ur feel not ready. and talking to him how u feel. frist for all dont make any agrue just sat and have a talk and he will understand what u need for ur and rem u follow ur heart whatever u walk to say and not rush things that is not wat u want..
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madamekisa

tell him it will mess up how tight you are and you wont want sex for months. works on most guys
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twocents

Not ever. I always made it clear up front I DO NOT WANT KIDS, EVER. I have other personal faults. I just hope she made this clear in the beginning in order to make the choice obviously clear that she wants career, not kydz.
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jenni4ever

I agree with you Carrie. Laura has the right to live her life the way she wants to live it. There are loads of irresponsible parents out there who people may say 'shouldn't' have kids (I'm not saying that's my view), but there's no wtich-hunt against them! I think it's a braver decision not to have kids in imperfect circumstances than it is to have them anyway because it's a social norm.

**Stands down off soapbox**

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xxxcarriexxx

I don't want kids either, I never really have but the older I've becom,e the more I've come to realise that it's just not for me. I don't seem to have any maternal instincts! I don't agree with what the psychotherapist says about Laura's situation (the Peter Pan syndrome thing)... just because she doesn' t want kids doesn't mean she's refusing to grow up! I find that quite offensive!
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