Saucy shopping

You have to know your own body in order to experience total mental and physcial abandon during sex, and to maximise your potential you need to know exactly what's what Down There. So if you've never done this before, why not make like the Sex and the City girls and be practical: use a mirror to have a good look!

Many women are still ignorant about their genitals and how they work, and despite the fact that sexuality is more and more talked about in society, the female genitalia is still a taboo subject. You need to know how you reach orgasm (everyone is different), and, as with any kind of sport, you need to do some training to improve your performance! Many women only find out what their perineum and pelvic floor muscles are after they give birth, when they can experience diminished sexual sensation and have to work to tone their muscles! It's always useful to train your intimate muscles for better sensations and orgasms (see our article on Sexerxise)

You can use sex toys to get to know your body better: geisha balls, vibrators and soft beads all work well. Don't think of sex toys as something dirty, only to be used for getting kicks on your own, but as something that will help you get to know your own body better and improve sex with him. They will help you to control and discover different types of orgasm (clitoral orgasms vs 'deeper' orgasms), and will improve your sex life as a couple: you'll be able to guide him much better during sex. You can help him give you better orgasms instead of expecting him to do everything. We're often disappointed with his performance and lack of expertise, but if we don't know what we want ourselves and how to get it, how is he supposed to know?!