Jeff Brazier thinks sons would rather have Jade Goody raising them
Reality TV star Jade, who split with Jeff in 2004, died of cervical cancer at the age of 27 in 2009.
Jeff suddenly went from being a "weekend dad" to a full-time parent, and admits it's been tough - especially with his nine-year-old son Bobby.
Jeff wrote in his blog on the Huffington Post website: "The odd wave of grief aside I'm always really happy with their progress, it just seems odd that over three years after the death of their mum I should suddenly feel like I'm not as 'in control' as I think I am.
"Sometimes in life you can wake up to a situation and think, how did I get here?
"It's no different from a parenting point of view, I've had to ask myself that very question of late.
"Since when, and why, does my first born Bobby seem to dislike me so much?! It's so true: we really do take things out on the people we love."
Jeff said he doesn't worry as much about his seven-year-old son Freddy, as he's in a "good place" and "loves talking about his mum" with a councillor.
Bobby, on the other hand, "hates being pulled out of class" to go to his sessions and "finds it hard" talking about his feelings.
Jeff, 33, continued: "Bobby was always 'daddy's boy' yet since the passing of his mother our relationship has altered greatly.
"The weekend dad role is exactly how many mothers accurately describe it: a 'glory' role.
"Allow me to be brutally honest, I'm under no illusion who my children would rather have her bringing them up, and in moments of anger and frustration they have once or twice reminded me as such.
"But all I can do is remain focused in my role as all-and-everything, to get them through it and to take the effects of their loss on the chin."