Here's what happens to every girl in her twenties...
1. Quitting food
We just can't do it any more! No more supercharged metabolisms like we had in our teen years. Late night munchies are a thing of the past and comfort eating gets CONTROLLED. Ya get me?
2. Dating seriously
At some point in your twenties you're going to have a relationship epiphany. Relationships are taken seriously (for once in your life) and you're not wasting your precious time on someone that doesn't fit the bill. Oh no.
3. Not giving a sh*t about labels
At this age having the best designer bags and branded jeans are not a priority anymore. Firstly because your parents won't buy you them and secondly because you've got rent to pay (which is basically half your salary). Primarni it is then!
4. Accepting Britney Spears is a throwback
Coming to terms with the fact that Britney Spears kicked off her 'Baby One More Time' Tour 15 years ago? It's hard, it really is. Time waits for no one.
5. Using the Time Hop App
Tearing up over Time Hop on almost a daily basis. 'How did I write that status THREE years ago!?' Feels like yesterday, right?
6. Thinking about the future
There's a point in your twenties when you'll stop saying 'But I'm still so young' and realise that all your friends on Facebook are having babies and getting married. Time for change.
7. Exploring the world
Every girl needs to get it out of her system! Whether it was before uni, after uni or during a sabbatical you'll realise that this is the time to screw up, to spend money and to travel the world. A savings account can wait...
8. But not for long...
Saving in your 20s will set you up for a comfortable future. But it's not until we hit our mid to late twenties when we realise that we need to stop spending our money on wasteful things and start saving for a mortgage. Don't worry, it will happen.
9. Stalking out your boyfriend
When you bag a long-term relationship in your 20s you WILL become obsessed with the prospects of marriage. Bridal magazines, Don't Tell The Bride, and stalking out your boyfriend for signs of a ring is your new part time job. It can't be helped.
10. Eating healthy foods
We don't just quit Diet Coke and Cadbury's! In your 20s you finally become interested in what you put into your body and learn what the meaning of health is. Foods that you've always hated finally make the shopping list. Spinach and kale? They're not so bad anymore, right?
11. Valuing family more
All your teen years shouting and talking back quickly becomes a thing of the past. Your Mum and Dad are seriously your best friends now and their home becomes your new getaway from real life.
12. 'Finding balance'
After years of partying non stop and splurging you realise you've wasted A LOT of money and alota time. Joining a gym, learning a new language and finding a new hobby finds a way into your schedule. Now it's your new mission to find a balance with it all.
13. Casual sex gets boring
Spur-of-the-moment sessions become dull and meaningless and suddenly you don't just want sex, you want love too.
14. Graduating university...
...and getting a massive Slap. In. The. Face. Life isn't the same anymore.
15. Learning doesn’t seem so bad
Sometimes you wonder why you didn't make the most of your learning years. Instead, you got drunk, stayed out late and slept in. Well, no more. Whether it's joining a poetry class, writing a book or learning how to knit you want to make up for lost time.
16. Flossing IS important
Brushing was more than enough before but now Flossing is the new MUST. If you're gonna have these teeth for the next 60 years you better take care of them, are we right?
17. Getting a grim satisfaction...
...when you see people you didn't like (i.e. bullies and mean people) get sh*t jobs. Hah, Karma's a bitch.
18. Drama is no longer fun
Seriously, you're not 'fifteen anymore', no body has time for that.
19. You go on an ego trip
Now that you know yourself better (and you quite frankly don't give a crap) turning people down, including friends and bad service is standing up for what you believe in.
20. You're hungry for success
For the first time in your life you actually want to make something of yourself.
21. But you'll quit your job
There's no doubt that some of us leave school or come out of university accepting ANY job we can find (thank the economy for that one) but you are pretty much guaranteeing yourself a mid-twenties work crisis. It's time to find something fulfilling.
22. Realising that life's not a popularity contest
Remember, you can only count your friends with your fingers.
23. Learning that 9-5 is not all it's hyped up to be
Having a big girl job is great and all, but it definitely comes with a downside. Late nights, desk eating and actually looking forward to the weekend? Yep, it's all in the package baby.
24. Becoming interested in current affairs
OK, so you might have downloaded the BBC app. AND? Knowing about what's going on in the world is cool.
25. Changing your taste in music
Going from intense to mellow in music taste. You might have been a BBC Radio 1 fan but now you're all about Heart London.
26. Noticing your wrinkles more
In our 20s our smile lines start to surface so it's no surprise that skincare becomes a large expense in our budgets. Drugstore beauty just isn't enough and eye creams? You've got three.
27. You give cooking a bash
The only thing you could make before was cheese on toast, but now? You can make a pretty mean chilli.
28. No breakfast...
Are you kidding? There is no way you're functioning at work without something in your stomach.
29. You enjoy the finer things in life
Buying expensive wine, going to the theatre and getting a monthly pedicure isn't a treat, it's a thing. With no children and a better job there's no doubt that your twenties are probably some of the best years of your life.
30. Getting hammered isn't appealing anymore
If you have a big night you're basically bed bound for the next week. Basically, we don't do hangovers.
31. You privatise your life on social media
Not only is advertising your life on social media LAME but you also realised that no one really cares. Now you just use it to catch up with friends (or stalk old ones). Standard.
Agree? Follow this author on Twitter @vivkell for more!
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