• Pregnancy 
 

Becoming a dad

Becoming a dad © Jupiter
What changes do men go through when they become dads? Find out here...
Changes between you and your partner
- In his eyes, you're no longer just the woman he loves, but also the mother of his child. This is a big change that can be disturbing for him. Up until now your relationship has been exclusive, and now you have to make room for a new person. The relationship with the child will interfere to a varying degree with the romantic relationship.

- The couple’s sex life can also be affected if the man isn’t able to take on board the woman’s new role. Furthermore, dads who were present at the birth can be troubled by the unerotic aspect of what they've seen taking place 'down there'.
Changes in him
- Fatherhood marks a man's passage into the adult world. As head of the family, a position which is held more by him than by the woman, he is presented with a lot of responsibilities that can seem overwhelming. It is important for the woman to support her partner so that he doesn’t feel crushed by the weight of his new responsibilities.
- From a philosophical point of view, your partner may develop a sense of his place in the world when he becomes a dad. In humans, like in all species, reproduction produces a feeling of usefulness, of having a place.
- Jealousy over the new baby is another possible effect. The father, who up to now has had all of your time and attention, has to make room for the new arrival, who at first will be the centre of attention. The mother will naturally tend to give all her attention to the baby. Faced with this temporary exclusivity, the man may feel abandoned and harbour unconscious feelings of jealousy towards his child.
Changes
- In his professional life, the new dad will sometimes have to change how he sees things: if he has a very demanding job, for example, or if he has to make lots of trips away. He has new issues to take into account.
- His relationships with his friends will change as well. There will be those friends who already have children, and those who don’t. It goes without saying that their lifestyles and interests will be different. All-night clubbing isn’t so easy when you have a baby!
- The new dad will also find that the image he sends out to others (to women in particular) has changed. The image of a man out with a pushchair isn’t at all the same as a man out walking on his own with his hands in his pockets and his hair blowing in the wind! He has to learn to cope with this new image and accept it.
Published by editorial staff Parenting
21 Jul 2009
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