Cheating on a man - infidelity in women
"It's a pretty common story: she cheated on me one night with some guy. We tried to deal with it but I just couldn't cope.
Something was broken and although she was doing all she could to save our relationship, I couldn't get over it. Although I still love her, it was all too much for me." Luke, 29, sales assistant
> How can a couple overcome infidelity?
'You need to ask yourself a question: what's the most important to you? The relationship you want to build, or the humiliation you've experienced? After you've been cheated on, withdrawal reactions are natural. Your suffering is in proportion to the love you felt.'
'Infidelity seems to be common practice these days and couples are faced with it more and more. It's therefore necessary to see cheating as something that stems from the couple, rather than it being the sole responsibility of the cheat.'
'In other words, if there are issues, both partners need to talk but maybe in a different way to what they're used to. They should find a new way of communicating, without condemnation or shame.'
'Although a feeling of guilt is normal, once the other person decides to forgive, it's important to get out of this pattern in order to go beyond the reconciliation phase. The couple needs to reinvent itself: it will never be the same as before so there's no point trying to regain the past.'