No maternal instinct: Am I a bad mum?
The milestone of motherhood: knowing your own history
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The milestone of motherhood: knowing your own history

Your own mum
Whether you want to copy her, or you'd rather be the exact opposite, the relationship you had with your own mother will affect your experience of becoming a mum. Will you be different? Will you be as good as her? Will you make the same mistakes?

Understandably, memories of your own childhood are liable to resurface when you're gearing up to become a parent. "Your own experience of being parented will strongly influence how you see your chance of being the kind of mum you want your child to have," says Reith.

Time to be an adult
Above all, becoming a mum is about becoming an adult for good - and sometimes the transition isn't easy.

Now is the time to get in touch with family, and to discuss any issues you had with your own upbringing. "We encourage mums to speak to the adults that looked after them when they were little," explains child psychiatrist Molénat. 

Reith adds that this can be a golden opportunity to build bridges with your own parents: "Even if your relationship with your mum isn't great, sometimes a baby can be a very healing development," she says.

After all, a new baby is something to really look forward to, and your loved ones are going to want to join in with the experience!

Victoria Turk
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