Friday night marks the start of the weekend.... yeah, one that's full of play dates and hiding the iPad from your 3-year-old, not getting your wasteface on like you did when you were 20!
There just aren't enough hours in your day to waste two of them on Internet browsing!
Having sex on the kitchen counter doesn't seem that fun and impulsive when you spent half your afternoon cleaning your kids spit-up food off it. Scheduled sex is the best sex, ya feel me?
Reading for pleasure
LOL what are books again?
Now you let your daughter paint your nails for you, and hey, she's pretty good at it and willing to do it for 50p!
Getting socks on your kid's feet is half the battle. Who cares if one's polka dot and one's striped? AT LEAST THEY'RE WEARING THEM!
If you can see a pathway through the floor - it's clean.
Happy hour specials
Now you hurry past them while taking your kids to football practice.
Doing your hair every day
The messy bun is your go-to style from Monday to Friday.
Getting up close and personal with body fluids
You were once queasy about touching your own blood but now you barely flinch at the sight of runny noses, diarrhea, or bloody cuts.
You've perfected the art of doing chores while your kid tries desperately to get a piggyback ride from you.
You use the "Record Show" option more than ever now that you have kids.
The thought of the packing, planning, and mountains of laundry to be washed post-holiday is terrifying. Nope, one or two holidays a year is fine. You can save weekend trips for when the little ones are older...and can help with the driving!
Revamping your wardrobe
With kids constantly growing, new clothes for mum has become an old pleasure.
Getting a sexy car
The more leg room the better. You now fully understand the underrated beauty of a minivan!
Being that mum who is crazy about her food
You're pretty much an amateur nutritionist at this point.
Four hours a night is good. Six hours is a gift from the heavens!
Making new friends
Honestly, you're having so much fun watching your kids grow and realising how you and your partner have become closer as parents that you've formed an exclusive Family Bubble...and you're OK with that!
Feuds with your in-laws
They're one of your few free babysitting options so any tension from your hubby's mum talking sh*t on your Easter casserole last year is forgotten!
Your young adult dreams
Before you had a kid, you lived for yourself. After, you live to make your baby's life easier, full of happiness, and infinite possibility.
It's not that your dreams don't matter at all, it's just that the path has changed and so will your goals!
But this time you have a two-foot cheerleader encouraging you, loving you, and inspiring you to go after things you didn't know you wanted until you became a mum.
What do you not care about so much now that you're a mom? Tweet us @sofeminineUK.
You Might Like These Too...