So we've had the weird plastic knee mom jeans and the Gucci shoes that look like part of a human suit from my nightmares, and now we have the perfect tee to finish off the look: the ASOS T-Shirt with Washed Band Print and Exaggerated Ruffle.
Man, we love ASOS. We love the catwalk videos. We love the #asseenonme Instagram feature. And we especially love it when they throw us a fashion curveball that wakes us up in the middle of the night in a sweat. Because that's the aim of this t-shirt, right? To leave us with so many unanswered questions that we can't sleep?
There's so many things wrong with this tee that I have to have a little sit-down every time I look at it. So here's what I need ASOS to answer.
1. Why is that ruffle there?
The purple tutu that goes over one shoulder - what is that? It's like someone was just really into the purple ruffle and just decided to shoehorn it into their design. I'm no fashion expert but the model looks a little bit like when you try something on in a shop that you know is too small for you but decide to try and get it on anyway, only for it to get stuck halfway and you spend 20 minutes trying to pull it off to no avail and an assistant has to cut it off you. Yes, the model looks like she's slap bang in the middle of a changing room panic.
2. What band is even on the tee?
Isn't the point of a band tee to show off that you like a really cool band? Is the band even a real band? Because that promo isn't going to go down well with them, is it. Yeah, your band is on the t-shirt, it's just there's a net curtain that in the way.
3. Was this made by an over-ambitious college student?
Be honest, was it?
ASOS are also selling this monstrosity, which combines the jersey of a university frat boy and the net curtains at your nan's house that she's always twitching in order to spy on the neighbours. And the good news, my friends, is you only have to pay £45 to look like this - and only £25 for the band tee! Bargain! You know what might be cheaper though? Covering yourself in glue and rolling around on the workshop floor of the London College of Fashion. Cooler too, I bet.
What do you think of ASOS's latest creations? Let us know! @sofeminineUK
You might also like...