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18 Reasons Why We’re Completely Over Cheryl

Emmy Griffiths
by Emmy Griffiths Published on 15 July 2014
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Since Cheryl Cole announced she's married a man she's only just met (three months, we ask you!) we've got to admit, we're finally done with the British celeb. A friendly Geordie accent and a couple of okay-ish songs are not enough pros to outweigh Cheryl's serious CONS. Here's why we are over her...

1. She's kind of a hypocrite

When announcing her marriage she said: “I usually do not discuss my personal life but to stop speculation I want to share my happy news. Jean-Bernard and I married…we are very happy and excited to move forward with our lives together.“

She doesn’t usually share her personal life?! Erm, AHEM... Oh yeah. And that autobiography.

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2. She went out with a human Ken doll

This ‘Ken’ doll is dancer Derek Hough. Yes he’s a dreamboat, but a dull plastic-looking one.

3. Those tattoos

Can we universally agree the rose bush on her bum is completely horrendous? Please?

4. Her first wedding

The matching shiny outfits, the boobs resting on her chin, gah! It wasn’t pretty.

5. THAT incident in the bathroom

Remember when Cheryl was found guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm? How did she become a National treasure again?

6. The Cher Lloyd controversy

Cher openly made snide remarks at her X Factor mentor. When she was asked if she would ever sing with Cheryl, she replied “Maybe if she sings live with me!” When asked if Cher thought Cheryl would find this difficult, she replied: “well it is nowadays, when you haven’t got the nifty little button to press!”

Woops. Obviously Cheryl retaliated in her own, passive aggressive way.

7. Cheryl and Ashley's matching outfits

Seriously, what was right with this relationship?

8. Her three-month marriage

Why do you HAVE to get married after you’ve been dating for three months?! It makes NO sense. Three months is nothing! You can’t possibly know everyone’s dirty little secrets and annoying little habits in three months! The Twittersphere got pretty snarky about it as well!

9. That time she was caught lip-synching

Ok, it could have been a mic fail, but was it? WAS IT?

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10. Her penchant for boring pranks

Blowing up a fake Simon Cowell? You hired a plane to fly around his house, even though you were supposed to be ‘over’ your feud at this point? Hilarious Cheryl.

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11. Her return to X Factor

Seriously Cheryl, where is your pride?!

12. Every single thing she tweets

Yeah, good one Cheryl.

13. Her actions on the X Factor regarding Kate Waissel

Katie Waissel was chosen, as Cheryl admitted in her autobiography, to ‘make good TV’, selecting her instead of the other contestant who, you know, actually deserved a chance.

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14. She never knows when an actual joke is going on

Totally clueless.

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15. Her L’Oreal advert

Every time this comes on TV we turn over (lest we gouge our eyes out). Make it STAAAAHP.

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16. The time she wore THIS

GAH! Leave something to the imagination woman!

17. She used to be pretty chavvy

Apparently money buys class! We swear her signature style was a scrapped back ponytail back in the day!

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18. Her attitude as a judge

Why is it always a “lovely little singer” or “little star”?! Why does she have to be so patronising? WE ARE DONE.

How do you feel about the singer? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

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by Emmy Griffiths 122 shares