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58 Thoughts We All Have At The Office Christmas Party

by Emmy Griffiths Published on 7 December 2015

Office Christmas parties are pretty weird. You don't get to choose who you work with, but you still spend day in day out with them for better or for worse. So naturally, adding A LOT of alcohol can be a dangerous thing! Even if all that happens is that you all get way too drunk and overshare with the boss, here are all the thoughts we typically have during those office party times...

1. We've all been bigging up this party for weeks so it had better. Be. Good.

2. Or at least better than last year when I threw up in a taxi on the way home. Great times.

3. It's already looking good because we get to finish work a whole four hours early!

4. Honestly, this is enough of a Christmas gift, my darling office. I don't need anything else.

5. ​Oh, but I should probably stick around for Secret Santa.

6. Has everyone just brought what they're going to wear with them?

7. She's definitely regretting being the only one wearing her glittery red cocktail dress early. We're still working woman!

8. How are we all going to be able to do our make up in the work loos, really?!

9. It looks like a Boots advert up in here.

10. If anyone starts singing 'Here come the girls', I'm leaving.

11. Oh, people are singing 'All I want for Christmas is you' instead. That's fine.

12. So now we're all glitzed and glammed up (apart from that one person who hilariously thought to dress up as a reindeer and is now regretting their life choices, it's time to head out!)

13. Whether this means a solid Christmas dinner or straight to drinking, this is where the lines with the bosses feel blurred and I don't know how I feel about it.

14. Now that we're done with the three course meal (and the first couple of glasses of Prosecco, obviously), it's time for SECRET SANTA!

15. Why is there always that one person who gets given a candy g-string?!

16. Why is this even called a secret Santa? Because I'm opening my present and there is only one person watching me and beaming, it's really not rocket science.

17. Ah! A 'Little Miss' mug that sums up my personality! This will be my mug now. I shall put it one of the office shelves and it shall be mine.

18. Now we're at that point where everyone begins to recount all the great and embarrassing things that happened this year. Really hope no one brings up the...

19. ...Oh, there it is. Fabulous.

20. Mid-afternoon and I don't even know what cocktail number I'm on. Four? Five?

21. Suddenly I want to tell my boss all of my deepest, darkest secrets, especially regarding our company.

22. ​I can't believe we've never spoken before. My boss is a total HOOT.

23. My boss and I are basically best friends.

24. I can tell them anything.

25. They're HUGGING me.

26. I feel like this should be uncomfortable but I'm so drunk and it's Christmas!

27. Why are people leaving? Who cares if you have a dog that needs feeding?!

28. Ah well, SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS.

29. Shots, and also I need to ignore whathisname from the office giving me the eye.

30. If you do nothing else tonight, do NOT kiss a man you've never learned the name of in front of your co-workers.

31. Also, do not do karaoke.

32. Oh look, karaoke!

33. I am such a good singer. Look at everyone agreeing how good I am.

34. It seems weird because I've been drinking so much that my voice sounds all hoarse and slurred, but people are digging it so it's fiiiine.

35. Now I'm snuggled up to someone while everyone is dancing, it's probably best I tell them the entire plot of Muppets Christmas Carol.

36. Or I could go and dance as well. Wham is on after all.

37. Just don't get emotional when they play Slade's 'Merry Christmas everybody'. Oops, too late.

38. Now you're crying at the office party and everyone can see you.

39. You go to the toilet and cry about how now everyone will think of you as 'the one who cried at the office Christmas party.'

40. But then they play Jingle Bell Rock and you forget all your woes and recreate Mean Girls like a CHAMP.

41. At least I'm not as bad as the one who went home early after drinking two tequilas that 'went down the wrong way'.

42. There's always one.I wonder if the company knows how much money we've spent of jager so far...Ah well.

43. ANOTHER.​

44. Now the night is over (though it's barely midnight hey, you've been drinking since 1!), and you all bundle into taxis.

45. Who cares if you live 20 miles away with surge charges applicable? YOLO!

46. Anyway, you're sharing with that one who lives too far away to get home so you're letting them stay at yours, they'll chip in!

47. How...how did I get home again?

48. Why is my colleague in my bed still wearing reindeer antlers?

49. HOW MUCH HAS GONE FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT?

50. Surely I can put this on company spending because good GRIEF.

51. The work party cost me three days wages, fantastic.

52. Don't forget the ensuing humiliation.

53. What DID I say to my boss last night?!

54. Walking into work on Monday morning is going to be a horrible, horrible business.

55. I've have been tagged in 19 photos on Facebook. Please...

56. Oh God. No. NOOOOOOO!

57. Karaoke! Drunken kisses! Why do I have mascara all over my face?

58. It's decided, I'm never drinking again...till next Christmas, no need to be a miserable old miser!

What emotions do you go through during office Christmas parties? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

This article was written by Emmy Griffiths. Follow her @emmyfg!

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