This joker applied to Hogwarts via University admissions site UCAS, and promptly received a hilarious response from the Chief Executive of the company informing her of why this was not a viable option. Check it out…
We regret to inform you that your application to the stated establishment cannot be processed at this time due to the fact that it does not exist. After consultation with our mystic advisors we have also determined that even if it did exist, the course “Wandology” would be highly in demand and hence require at least two As and a B in any of the following subjects:
· Advanced Spellcrafting
· Defence Against The Dark Arts
· History of the Occult
· Shaft Design
Your hand written grade sheet claiming top marks in “Waving a stick about”, “Wearing a pointy hat” and “watching Paul Daniels TV Specials” sadly is not suitable for submission, however by applying through clearing you may be suitable for a selection of Liberal Arts courses. Alternatively you may wish to resubmit next year by tying your letter to an owl and hoping for the best.
On behalf of UCAS I wish you every success.
Mary Cunnock Cook OBE