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Women in Focus

21 Times We Used The Excuse 'Because It's Christmas!'

by Lareese Craig Published on 5 December 2013

It’s that time of year again when your diet will be 50% cheese and 50% Cadbury's, your nan will be mildly nationalistic and you'll have to pretend to get excited to play Rapidough, again. If it’s covered in chocolate you’ll eat it and if it’s covered in gingerbread men you’ll wear it. Here’s 21 times we used the excuse "because it’s Christmas." And what a beautiful set of excuses they are.

1. Twiglets

For breakfast. Thank. You. Santa

2. Singing. Bad bad singing.

Busting out our lungs and doing our best Mariah Carey hands. It's happening.

3. Disgusting knitwear becomes fun and sociable apparently

Torturing ourselves with disgusting itchy knitwear with a freaky reindeer on the front or worse, this guy:

4. Movies all day every day

Staying in to watch films made for five year olds and stuffing our faces with Celebrations? Let's not pretend we don't ALL do this.

5. Becoming obsessed with Yankee Candles

*Rushes home to light Christmas Cookie and smile to self*

6. Getting fat

Yep, that's why we're obsessed with layering duh.

7. Ditching the cardio

Avoiding any form of exercise because it’s too cold and we’d rather be in bed with our slipper socks and hot water bottle. Rock star.

8. Gorging on choc

Eating our advent calendars whenever the hell we want because we’re grown ups now. If I want to open door number 24 on the 2nd then I will. Thanks for buying it for me though mum.

9. Drinking so much drinking

Knocking back copious amounts of alcohol and not even being judged for it. How else could we possibly celebrate that babe in a manger?

10. You can't survive without Starbucks

Red cups mean you become a Starbucks regular with a preference for Tall Gingerbread Lattes. No cream. In January it's back to being plain old overrated coffee.

11. Dressing up the family pets

The rest of the year you think it's cruel, but when it comes to Christmas your pug WILL Be wearing that Christmas tree hat ALL day.

12. Looking outside as soon as you wake up

And shuffling along the floor with disappointment because it hasn’t snowed. Again.

13. Slacking at work

Because it's December and it's dark at 3pm.

14. Watching that silent snowman

You'd thought it would stop when your primary school teachers stopped making you watch it to fill in the free time, but now you actively choose to wake up at 6.30am to watch a suspiciously good looking snowman walking through the air.

15. The gift of giving

One for you and one for me. It's the only way we can justify spending money on others.

16. Drinking champagne and eating salmon

Even if you do openly despise both those things #christmasbehaviour

17. Oversharing at the Christmas party

You’ve said sod all to that person all year but you decide now is the time to strengthen your work relationships by telling them how many people you've slept with... Deep. Joy.

18. Wearing a hat made of tissue

Why is that a thing?!

19. You will go ice-skating

and you will hurt yourself #shouldhavehiredapenguin

20. Wearing a onesie all day and it being the best thing ever

Especially if it’s covered in tiny little elves. You will overheat and you will regret it when nature calls but Christmas just ain't happening without it.

21. Getting a boyfriend. It’s Christmas, who wants to be a shivering single spoon?

Hit us with your best 'because it's Christmas' excuse, tweet us @sofeminineUK

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by Lareese Craig

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