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This Woman's Daughter Called Her Fat And She Responded In The Most Inspirational Way

Pascale Day
By Pascale Day Published on 20 June 2017

We all know that when it comes to kids, they're our harshest critics. They have no filter, and when they say something, my god do they mean it. Like us, kids sometimes say things in anger and, unlike us, they don't just keep it as a thought inside their heads. But hey, they're kids! They need to be taught. So when Allison Kimmey's daughter called her fat, she knew she had to do something so it wouldn't happen again.

If you don't know Allison Kimmey, then you totally should - she's an awesome body positive Instagrammer who often shares her stories of being happy in her skin and family life with her husband and two kids. And there's a helluva lot of pics of her at the beach, so get ready for some major swimsuit envy.

Kimmey's known for her inspirational Instas, but one she posted earlier this month really struck a chord with her followers. In the post, she details how she dealt with her daughter when she called her 'fat'.

"My daughter called me fat today," the post began. "She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat."

My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: "what did you say about me?" Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry" Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?" Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy" Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!" Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles" Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts." Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me" Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: "yes, mama" Me: "so can you repeat what I said" Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat" Me: "exactly right!" Them: "can we go back to the pool now?" Me: no 🤣🤣 __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a 🙌🏻 if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Jun 11, 2017 at 8:48am PDT

Allison then took both her children aside and stressed to them the importance of the difference between being fat and having fat.

"Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?"
"Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy"
"Me: Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?
"Both: "yes, mama""

Allison then goes on to explain that when it comes to her kids, she has decided this is the best way to deal with situations like this. "Fat is not a bad word in our house," she says. " If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable."

She ends the post with some advice for other parents in a similar situation: "It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest."

She told Cosmo that this isn't the first time she's had to have a difficult conversation with her kids, and she also offered some advice to other parents struggling with these topics: "I always begin by asking them what they meant by their statement or if they understand what a particular word means. Usually it turns out they mean something completely different. And from there we break it apart more, I lead with questions for them and that provides an opportunity for me to help them get the answer themselves and empowers their belief system."

What do you think of Allison's Instagram post? Let us know! @sofeminineUK

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by Pascale Day

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