Sex myths about men

Published by Sarah Horrocks
Published on 9 October 2008

The clichés about male sexuality are numerous and tenacious. Here are the main culprits.

Sex myths about men

We like to think we know it all when it comes to men, but the truth is some of our assumptions are just plain wrong.

We've spoken to real life men and found out the main sex myths about men so we can all be on the same page when it comes to getting it on between the sheets.

1. Men are always up for sex

Men never refuse sex, they're always up for it, they're never too tired after a long day at work and they never have headaches.

In fact, they think about nothing but sex the whole time. Wrong!

Men aren't robots: they get worried, stressed and sometimes they just don't feel like sex. Shock horror! They're just as affected by emotion as us, and emotion sometimes affects their libido. Less often, sure, but it still happens so no need to write him off as a dud if he's not in the mood. Don't panic if he doesn’t feel like sex, he's only human!

2. Men never fake it

No, not true ladies. It's not just women who fake it! OK, so we may fake it more often (we're four times as likely to make believe), but only 47% of men achieve orgasm during vaginal penetration and 3% say that they have never had an orgasm during sexual intercourse.

3. Ejaculating always means orgasm

Not necessarily (see myth number 2). Ejaculating and reaching orgasm do not always happen together, and vice versa. Some men reach orgasm without ejaculating (this is called a dry orgasm). But most of the time orgasm and ejaculation are one and the same.

4. Men would happily skip foreplay

Women still believe that men have only one goal in mind when it comes to making love - orgasm and getting right down to it. But the modern man has risen above this and really enjoys the foreplay before the main course.

Of course, from time to time you both want to get straight down to the act itself, but get it out of your head that men don't like foreplay. It allows them to learn how to pleasure you (always a bonus) and can make your sexy session last a whole lot longer - smiles all round!

5. Sexual breakdown is linked to lack of desire

Women are quick to jump to conclusions when their man has a problem in bed. The large majority think that he doesn't fancy them any more, but there are many other reasons for a lack of sex drive or erection.

Almost 42% of men say they've had an erection problem. Stress, fatigue, shyness, worries etc can affect them, and should be taken seriously but never personally.

6. Men only like women with perfect bodies

Sure, they drool over women in magazines and on TV. These women are fantasies but they're not what all men are looking for.

We all want someone attractive, but we also have many other criteria: brains, humour, elegance and inner beauty. And men aren't fools: they know that the supermodels in magazines aren't what real women are like. Most men like some womanly curves, and natural look make-up and plenty of confidence - see they're easy to please really!

7. Men aren't romantic

While we might all have had teenage notions of petals on the bed, softly lit candles and massage oils, the reality of our sex lives is that none of the above apply. Some guys are a sucker for romance, but it really is just the luck of the draw.

Don't be too hard on your guy if he's not counting the number of freckles on your back, romance has a place but there are more important things when it comes to sex - chemistry, libido and the ability to have a laugh - sex can be funny after all!