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16 Things That Are Less Painful Than Black Friday

by Emmy Griffiths Published on 26 November 2015
16 Things That Are Less Painful Than Black Friday© Getty

The idea Black Friday must have seemed so great at first. One day of massively slashed prices just in time for Christmas so you can buy all of your prezzies without breaking the bank. Perfect, right? Unfortunately, no one seemed to consider the caveman-esque, survival of the fittest RAGE this would bring out of the people in Britain, and it looks like this year the violence will be no different.

For reference, here is an example of the good British people, known for their overt politeness and ability to queue for hours peacefully pretty much TEAR EACH OTHER APART for 30% off a HD telly:

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That being said, this is why we really feel that these would be much more preferable than actually going shopping on Black Friday...

1. Getting a root canal

Without anesthesia, may we add.

2. Childbirth

A pleasant walk in the park.

3. Kidney stones

4. Hearing about people's dreams

*Ten minutes in* "Then there was a unicorn but it was wearing Timberlands and I was like whaaaa-"

5. Being told 'you're better off as friends'

Ouch.

6. A zombie apocalypse

Its basically the same except we'll all be looting and wielding axes.

7. Thinking the waiter is bringing food to your table when actually they're bringing it to the next one over

The sweet agony of this moment.

8. Getting a bikini wax

9. Losing a 32-racer on Mario Kart

So much time and energy and you can't even celebrate a smug victory.

10. Sitting through a slideshow of your aunt’s holiday

"Here's another picture of the airport. Oh, and another! Here's Frank stood by the airport..."

11. People sharing the Facebook disclaimer hoax on your newsfeed

Come on guys.

12. Listening to your friend explain why she just doesn't like chocolate that much

13. Being unable to cancel plans

"So this is actually going ahead is it? We're actually letting this happen. We're actually doing this."

14. When Dobby dies in Harry Potter

15. That time John Travolta called Idina Menzel 'Adele Dazeem'

And the world curled up in awkwardness.

16. Just ordering Black Friday stuff online

Seriously. Why doesn't everyone just do this.

What will you be doing this Friday? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

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