You sign up to the gym first thing in January, buy some shiny new Nikes in their sale and you are READY to get to your goal weight. But ugh, it’s been such a long day and it’s so dark and cold and the gym is TEN MINUTES AWAY for crying out loud. Soon you’ll be back on Netflix eating leftover chocolate coins, as nature intended.
Partake in Dry January
Oh but…peer pressure…SO MUCH PEER PRESSURE AND THAT GLASS OF WINE LOOKS SO REFRESHING JUST ONE SIP. And just like that, the dry January vow is broken. Try again next year.
January sales > saving up. ‘Nuff said.
Start a new hobby
Is there anything more awkward than putting yourself out there and trying to do something crazy? The brave will thrive in their new cross stitching/trampolining/Spanish class whilst the rest of us will just research these things and never actually take the steps to do them. Sob.
Why is it once you’ve decided you’re going to go somewhere incredible and have an amazing time you almost always end up in Cornwall? But-but we wanted Thailand beaches…
Don’t get too stressed out
BUT SO MUCH WORK AND BILLS TO PAY AND NEED TO REGISTER TO VOTE AND WHAT’S THAT THING I CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER TO DO?
Increase your knowledge
What are books compared to watching The Hunger Games for the twelfth time? As Mr Wormwood of Matilda once said: “There’s nothing you can get from a book that you can’t get from a television faster.” We’re terrible people.
Spend more time with friends and family
We love them, but this resolution means you actually need to be a functioning member of society and not, you know, a Netflix-addicted anti-social mess who pretends to be asleep when your phones rings.
Running a marathon
The idea and the action are two very different things. One is easy to say, the other is hard/impossible to do.
Detox your bod
Just one day of a juice fast is enough for ANYONE who doesn’t know what they’re doing to ditch the healthy super foods and get right back onto the Wotsits.
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