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Every Single Innuendo From Mary Berry's Last Bake Off Series

by Helen Turnbull Published on 6 October 2016

Baking was a pastime reserved for prudish housewives in pre-Great British Bake Off times but innuendos have become an integral part of the BBC cake-making contest and we love it all the more for it. And while we've come to expect sexually-charged statements from presenters Mel and Sue, judges Mary and Paul and contestants alike, the latest batch of amateur bakers have more than risen to the challenge. The proof is in the pudding...

1. 'Make your drizz the shiz'

Sounds a lot like a word that begins with j and ends in zz, you know the one. This was Sue Perkins' attempt to spur on the nervous bakers during the very first bake of the new series.

2. 'To give it more of an adult flavour'

We dread to think what Star Baker Jane Beedle meant when she uttered this during the debut Showstopper challenge.

3. 'I'm scared my drizzle won’t penetrate deep enough'

Poor old church minister Lee Banfield was oblivious to the racy connotations of this statement as he struggled to make his 'drizz the shiz' ten minutes in.

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4. 'It's only going to get harder'

Only for Paul Hollywood to respond to his concern with this filth. It's probably a good job he was voted off first.

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5. 'Controlling the spread'

Enter: series heartthrob Selasi Gbormittah.

6. 'The Page 3 of drizzle cakes'

Sue Perkins' accurate description of Louise Williams' inadvertently sexy take on the humble drizzle cake.

7. 'See me later' + wink (directed at Paul)

Val Stones (i.e. the sassiest contestant to bless the tent with her presence) strikes again. It's good to know we aren't the only ones with a soft spot for the bearded Scouser.

8. 'I like cox'

The kind that grow on trees, not the other kind. Freshly grown by Kate Barmby, no less.

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9. 'Do you need a pair of warm hands, either on your bag or on you?'

TBH, we'd offer Selasi our warm hands, too.

10. 'I've got my swallow dress, my swallow earrings I just love swallows'

Kate (i.e. the Ian of series six) co-ordinated her baking uniform to her baked goods and the Internet couldn't help itself.

11. 'Great penetration there'

New drinking game: Have a shot every time Paul uses the P word.

12. 'I'm going to poke it in'

Louise innocently explaining her custard-insertion method.

13. 'You’ve got two hours to achieve ultimate moistness'

SUE PERKINS REFERRING TO CAKE AND NOTHING ELSE.

14. 'We don't dunk in the South'

Mary Berry exclaimed as she witnessed Paul dunk a Jaffa Cake (!?) in a cuppa.

15. 'There’s nothing lingering in the mouth'

Another Mr. Hollywood gem.

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16. 'I'll eat a bit of carpet'

Twitter lost its sh*t when Mary uttered this obscenity. Spoiler: she was referring to Candice's ginger-cake carpet which was part of her Biscuit Week Showstopper.

17. 'I think your sister tastes lovely'

Paul on Val's gingerbread sibling.

18. 'It's a very stiff mixture'

Poor Jane had no idea of the connotations of this innocent statement.

19. 'It's still quite hard and dry'

MICHAEL'S MIXTURE, NOT ANYTHING ELSE.

20. 'I'm struggling to get it out'

Rav's mixture was also him problems.

21. 'Can you come and grab my jugs, please?'

Candice walked right into this one tbh.

22. 'I'm going in'

Destination: the oven.

23. 'Ooh that feels good'

Mel's expert critique.

24. 'I'm just trying to get stuff out'

Benjamina and her bakes.

25. 'We've had a problem with finishing before'

Mary needs to wash her mouth out with soap in time for next week's episode.

26. 'I'm more of a bloomers and baps girl'

Kate's thoughts on Bread Week.

27. THIS

"This shape you’ve created… it’s very male", Mel Giedroyc observed.

28. 'It's all down to the eat on this'

Excuse me, Paul Hollywood.

29. 'It's a little stiff'

Poor Mary Berry.

30. 'How are your balls?'

31. 'They could be wetter to allow them to grow'

Paul Hollywood on a batch of less-than-ideal Yorkshire puddings.

32. 'I wish I'd gone bigger'

Excuse me, Jane!

33. 'The fat has sort of impregnated it'

The first time the word 'impregnated' graced the tent with its presence, thanks to Mary Berry in Batter Week. She only went and said it again mere minutes later.

34. 'It's not as stiff as I'd like it'

How stiff do you like it, eh Jane!?

35. 'I like the way you've toasted your nuts'

Poor Andrew.

36. 'Are you a tosser or a flipper?'

Oh how we'll miss Mel, and Sue.

37. 'It's better to be wetter than it is to be drier'

Excuse me, Val?

38. 'If that means some hand-touching, that's alright with me'

Whatever you need to do to perfect your pastry, Andrew.

39. 'Andrew and Tom prefer things a little wetter'

I bet they do . How we'll miss Mel Giedroyc.

40. THIS

No explanation needed.

41. 'It shrinks and then it looks horrible'

You're telling us, Jane .

42. 'It's good to get your hands in and give your sausages a good squeeze'

Candice sounds like she knows what she's doing.

43. Will never unsee Mary Berry handling an oversized black pudding

44. 'A lovely sight - a man spreading his cream'

You know Mel wasn't the only one thinking this about Selasi in Dessert Week.

45. 'I don't want it to bulge'

A sponge is meant to be spongey, not bulgy. Isn't that right, Tom!?

46. 'He's got a very good finish'

Is there something you're not telling us, Mary?

47. 'My nuts are looking nice and golden brown'

Unfortunately, not even golden nuts could save Tom after a disastrous Dessert Week.

48. 'Just shove the nuts in'

That approach seemed to work for Jane.

49. 'I have confidence in my dad's curd'

Ooh er, Andrew.

50. 'It's wetter than it usually is. it's not as firm as it was at home'

Not even her cracking puns could save Benjamina from being booted out of the tent in Tudor Week.

51. 'Paul just give them a squeeze'

'Them' being Jane's pies, obviously.

52. 'Exactly like me, Mary. Hard on the outside. Soft in the middle'

53. THIS

Some context: the quarter-finalists were tasked with making marzipan Showstoppers in Tudor Week. Andrew opted to make jousting knights but timing difficulties meant one stood to attention more than the other.

54. 'Just rolling in my nuts'

Palmiers in pistachios, FYI.

55. 'At least it's not leaking out which it did mid-week'

Sounds like Jane needs to see the plumber.

56. 'It's a little bit soggy when you get inside'

This for dirtiest innuendo of the series. Cheers, Paul.

57. It's looking huge

Candice's ​savarin that is.

Is this or is this not the most sexually-charged GBBO series yet? Let us know your thoughts @soFeminineUK

The Great British Bake Off final airs on Wednesday 27 October on BBC One at 8pm

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