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Health and Fitness

5 Ways To Gain More Confidence

Anne-Laure Maire
by Anne-Laure Maire Published on 8 January 2014

Self-confidence varies from one person to another. While some have no problem glowing with confidence no matter what they're wearing or what they're doing, others struggle to feel good about themselves even when they are dressed to the nines! Luckily, there are some brilliant ways to improve self-esteem and give yourself the ego boost you deserve! Here's 5 ways to gain more confidence.

Susan Sarandon is the epitome of self-confidence. At 69 years of age, the actress is L'Oreal Paris' muse and quite literally proves that beauty has no age. Her motto? "A new morning, a new day. You have to live, not just exist."

Brimming with self-confidence, Susan isn't short of advice. Talking about her own failures in the past, she said: "I know that if I fail, I'm strong enough to get up and start again. In my life I collapsed more than once, but I'm still here. I feel happy. Happy to get up every day as a mother, grandmother and committed woman. I try to say yes more than I say 'no'. I make my own choices and I try to live a full life. "

Susan's secret is to stay positive - an attitude which is well worth embracing in order to build self-confidence.

If she were to give advice to all the women of the world, it would be "you must say yes to life and don't be afraid to take some risks. Be open to new opportunities, they help you to grow, and they're exciting. Faced with something that impresses you, either in your work or in your personal life, you have to invest in something you believe in and that you are passionate about."

Why self-confidence is so important

Those who lack self-confidence constantly devalue themselves and often don't realise that others may find their qualities appealing. Their lack of confidence prevents them from taking initiative and moving forward as they simply don't believe that anything will come out of it. Of course this means a lack of self-confidence means missing out on major opportunities!

​In other cases insecure people are known to play a role, pretending to feel comfortable with themselves and building up an imaginary version of themselves that simply isn't real. These people also have difficulty in finding themselves and finding what suits the real them. That's why confidence is so essential - it's all about being happy to think independently and to act more freely, eventually making relationships with people who you genuinely connect with and living a life that's true to who you are.

How to enhance your self-confidence

To gain confidence, the first thing is to never lose sight of your true identity. That is to say, we must have a clear idea of ​​who we really are: our passions, our characters, our sensitivities, our tastes. Then, we should try to highlight our strengths, our know-how, our organisational capacity, our friendships, even our talents. Feel free to list your qualities down if it helps!

​Since a lack of confidence commonly comes from negative words or experiences during our childhoods or adolescence, it is essential to reclaim your confidence! As Taylor Swift once said, haters gonna hate.

The 5 key ways to grow your self-confidence

1- Acceptance - We must give ourselves the right to have our own thoughts and opinions. You should never be discouraged from speaking your mind about something you're passionate about, and so you should express yourself in whichever way you want on a daily basis, even if it goes against what other people think. Start with your family first and when you're more comfortable, try expressing yourself to your friends and colleagues. It'll feel so much better than playing down or shrugging off your thoughts and ideas just because it's easier or makes you more popular.

2- Be assertive - Be genuine in your relationships, and don't try to distort reality in order to please others. You can't simply express yourself through your friends' ideas of what is right or wrong, you have to have your own strong sense of self. For example: buy clothes that you actually like instead of just copying your bestie's outfit! Dare to tell your partner that you don't fancy watching that film at the cinema. Decide what you want, and go for it!

3- Set yourself goals - Setting yourself mini challenges everyday broadens your abilities and acquaints you with your limitations. Make your goals simple and achievable to begin with, then begin to try new things that might be a little out of your comfort zone. If you can't do something, this'll give you the opportunity to asses what went wrong and try again. Sounds good to us!

4- Repeat positive phrases morning and evening - It never hurts to give yourself a verbal confidence boost, and actually saying positive things out loud can make all the difference to your mindset. Saying: "I can do it", "I have the capacity to do the job" or "I'm the best" might feel a little silly but it all contributes to positive thinking and building up that essential self-confidence! Believe you can and you will.

5- Face tricky situations head on - Instead of avoiding situations that make you uncomfortable, you must learn to confront them and move on. Nothing's worse than unfinished business, especially if it leaves you unhappy, and so during potential conversations it is important to maintain eye contact as keep the discussion going if you aren't quite satisfied with the outcome. Doing this will help you deal with distressing situations, which is an excellent quality to have in a tricky situation!

Only you have the power to build up your self-esteem, and we say go for it! Do you agree? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

by Anne-Laure Maire

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