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Crappy New Year and Skint? 22 Reasons Why January Is The Worst Month Of All

by Vivian KELLY ,
Crappy New Year and Skint? 22 Reasons Why January Is The Worst Month Of All© Google Images

Ever wonder why January seems so goddamn lonely? From being stuffed up with a cold, dealing with the post-Christmas weight gain and resigning yourself to 31 days indoors, January can really be a tough month for everyone. Sorry to sound like a Negative Nancy but we're just being real. Here are 22 reasons why January is the worst month of all...

1. Happy New Hangover!

You literally started the year either, drunk, hungover or in a ditch. Good start....

2. Post Christmas Bloat

After pigging out on mince pies, sausages, biscuits and pretty much every chocolate in sight the after shock is nothing like you thought it would be.

​Mood: Confused.

3.Break ups

Whether you and your bae split up after a crappy Christmas or you broke it off after a drunken row on New Year’s Eve MANY of us have actually started the new year single. Take it as you will.

4. The word 'diet'

Once the overindulging comes to an end dieting becomes your new BFF. But not just because of all the comfort food you ate, because in the new year every girl out there is on some kind of self-perfecting power trip to ‘get healthy’ and ‘stay fit’. And obvs, you have to be a part of it. FOMO.

5. You’re broke

And we’re not talking ‘end of the month broke’, we’re talking ZERO funds in the bank 'have to ask Mum and Dad to save your ass broke’.

​We're currently reconsidering our gratitude when we got paid early last month… a favour? A SCAM.

6. Boyfriend blues

We’ve only been a week into the new year and people are already talking Valentine’s Day. ‘No I will not help you decide what to get your 'Mr Perfect'!’ *Puts head down and sobs*

7. If you had a shit New Year’s Eve…

Yeah, we’re sorry too.

8. You're no longer a ‘back home baller’

Once you're back to reality you actually realise that you have a life and need to get your sh*t together. Hello responsibilities!

9. You realise your resolutions were unrealistic

The third Monday of January is the ‘most depressing day of the year’…why? Because that's the day it dawns on you and sh*t gets REAL.

10. Christmas is 365 days away


11. No more time off

Hello 9AM starts, filthy commutes and angsty city workers. Lets face it, #backtowork is more like #backtohell, right?

12. Exam-time

Whoever decided January was an ideal month to sit exams was very wrong.

13. January sales

Your favourite shop turns into a premium version of Primark. Clothes tossed everywhere, hangers and straps tangled and unable to pull anything out of the rack. AND on top of that they don’t have the size you need. Waste of time.

14. The weather is dark, dull and crap.

I know we moan about the weather all the time, but when you don’t see the light of day until 12pm on Saturday morning it does make you go kinda crazy.

15. Your skin is in bad condition

Because all you've been doing the last month is gorging down fatty foods, binging on booze and partying wayyyy too much. This, plus all the above? Well I guess it's no surprise.

16. Everyone’s down at the gym

Seriously, how are we supposed to start our new year’s resolutions if we have to wait an hour to get on the fricken treadmill? Give it a month...

17. The fridge is empty

All the good stuff is gone and there’s no good excuse for buying more. JOY.

18. You have no social life

Because everyone got sh*t faced during the holidays and spent way too much. But, how else are we going to drown our sorrows?

19. There’s nothing on the tele

Everything is on on hiatus. Game of Thrones isn’t on till March, Sherlock until Christmas and now all there’s to watch is repeats of Two and A Half Men and Friends. It's like happiness suicide.

20. Christmas lights are taken down

That’s the golden seal my friend. It's over.

21. You have to start paying off big purchases

But have insufficient funds. Help.

22. Everyone’s ill

Colds and flu are a weekly occurrence for you now, but your doctor still refuses to give you antibiotics. What are GPs good for, eh?

Are you hating on January like us? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

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Vivian KELLY
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