Doesn’t it itch?
It's fine. Everything is fine. Why are you trying to get me to hate my beard?
You look so much better with a beard
Soooo I looked ugly before? Why, thank you!
So…are you trying to be hipster?
Can't I just grow a beard without becoming a cliche?! So what if I want a twirly moustache and play the accordion to boot? Can I live?!
It is trendy to have a beard nowadays I suppose
Yeah...that's why I'm doing it. Just following the crowd.
Are you homeless?
Ha, classic. Because I look like I don't own a razor. Sharp wit you've got there.
Have you ever done anything funny with it?
Not everyone enjoys decorating their beards with baubles. But yes, yes I have done something funny with it.
You ever find food in it ages after you’ve eaten?
I'm not some animal! I do have standards of hygiene! Apart from that one time I found some cheese in it but that was an accident...
You look like you could be in Victorian times
EXACTLY what I was going for. I'm bringing that century back baby.
When are you getting rid of it?
Whenever I feel like it. Be about your business.
You look like Jesus
How long did it take to grow?
Is it a sign of my masculinity if I say six months? Shall I just say it grew like this overnight?
How do you sleep on it?
Like a damn baby.
What are your beardy problems? Tweet us @SofeminineUK