The bedtime routine is never a straight forward one, here are 13 stages every girl goes through before going to bed.
1. The announcement
It’s been a long day, you’ve had your dinner, watched telly and checked Facebook. It’s time for bed and everyone must know about it, so you make the announcement, you tell anyone and everyone that’s willing to listen. ‘I’m off to bed.’
2. Kitchen duties
But before you head off to bed, just a couple of things need to do done in the kitchen. The plates need to be put in the dishwasher. You need to stick the washing on. Lock the back door. Oh and course make your last cuppa of the day.
3. Taking off your make-up.
Really do you have to take off all your make-up? #effort How does you skin even know you're sleeping anyway? Time to double cleanse, tone and moisturise. FML being a woman is hard work.
On second thoughts, sod the cleansing! You'll just make do with a wipe to get it all off cos right now all you can see is a kingsize date with your bed.
4. Changing clothes
How is it possible that you buy pjs every time you go into Primark? Yet it’s impossible to find a matching clean pair when it comes to bedtime. Oh well stripy bottoms and dotty top it is.
5. Tea time
Great, the tea is cold.
6. Dealing with the hair
Brush your teeth and put your hair in a topknot. But for us afro haired girls, it doesn’t stop there. The brushing teeth bit, remains the same. But the hair, oh the hair...
So after you have moisturised the hair, wrapped it, braided it or put it in bantu knots, you still need to find the scarf which is never where you left, and then put the scarf on. Which is always that little bit too tight.
All of this struggle for laid edges.
7. The first attempt
You have done it, it’s time to finally get into bed. And just as you get comfortable you notice you forgot to turn the lights off. After spending some time wishing you could clap it off, you realise you are not in the movies and you get out of bed.
8. Recruting the hot, fluffy, bed companion
You're out of bed now, you might as well go and make your hot water bottle. I mean how else are you expected to feel warm and cosy in bed?
9. Sleep betrays you
So although you're absolutely knackered, and want nothing more but to sleep, sleep is no where to be found. So you lay in bed thinking. Nothing is off limits, you think of anything and everything.
10. Time Check
You check the time, and calculate how many more sleeping hours you have left. If you sleep now, you can still get a good 6 hours sleeping time.
11. Phone check
Just one more look at Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, something big might have happened & you don’t want to miss out.
FYI nothing's happened, because everyone else is sleeping.
12. Mind blowing thoughts
Your mind just. won't. stop!
Why do we bake cookies, but cook bacon?
If you think about nothing, are you really thinking?
If 22 is twenty-two and 33 is thirty-three, why isn't 11 onety-one?
13. Alarm Clock
Oh it’s morning. Time to get up, roll on 10pm so you can do this all over again.
What is your bedtime routine? Tweet us @SofeminineUK
This article was written by Tolani Shoneye. Tweet her @tolly_t
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