"My Ex just joined"
Reach their sympathetic side. We’ve all been there, and surely everyone can understand not wanting to look hot and sweaty with no make up in front of an ex, right?
"I’ve reached my goal weight"
You just can’t see under all of these layers…but yes, you have done everything for me that you could but any more exercise and I’ll be just unhappy with my body shape in general if I lose anymore.
"I’m moving away"
But I promise I’ll sign up to the nearest gym from my new place and continue devotedly training.
"I can’t afford it"
Go in looking raggedly and make a point of counting the coppers in your purse. How could they say no to letting your contract slide?
"I’ve decided I should be happy with myself just the way I am"
“Are you going to bring me down and tell me I need to lose more weight? HMMM?”
"My bodily functions have gone cray cray"
Start talking to them about your digestive system and they’ll be giving YOU money to shut up.
"It’s killed me emotionally and physically"
Go in looking like a broken woman. Complain of your aches, pains, frustration and confusion. If you can cry, then go ahead and cry.
"It’s not summer for a whole 3 more months and I’ve realised no one can notice my muffin top"
Let’s face it, what’s the point of getting a hot bod when you’re wearing three jumpers? We’ll see you again around April/May time and THEN we’ll be focused. At the moment, we just love food way, way too much.
"I read a troubling article about germs in gyms"
You can’t force me into these horrific hygiene conditions!
"I’ve found someone who loves me just as I am"
In a manner of Bridget Jones, I have found someone who loves me just as I am, therefore the gym is an unnecessary method of torture in my life that, frankly, I could do without.
Have you cancelled your gym membership yet? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!