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18 Things People With NO Money Know To Be True

by Emmy Griffiths Published on 16 October 2014
18 Things People With NO Money Know To Be True© Audrey Hepburn

If you have just started out on the career ladder, live in an expensive city (we're looking directly at you, London), or generally spend all your money on having fun and shouting 'YOLO' without thinking of the consequences, you'll KNOW that these are the hard truths...

1. Everything’s good for the week following pay day

Meals, drinks, shopping: you got this.

2. Following that it’s financial CHAOS

Oh...that's how much I have left? Oh.

3. You can make one £40 shop last the entire month

You've bought it all and it WILL last you.

4. Working out how much you have left after tax, rent and travel costs makes your soul die a little bit

If the GOVERNMENT didn't STEAL all our money we'd be living like Kings by now!

5. Going on a boozey night and remembering you used your credit card makes you break out in a cold sweat

I remember a bottle of Grey Goose. I remember buying shots for everyone at the bar...OH GOD NO.

6. Getting a tax rebate is the most delightful, miraculous thing that can happen to a person

That cheque in the post is better than Christmas.

7. Wearing something once then needing to return it because it couldn’t possibly stay in your wardrobe, costly little beauty that it is

We had some great memories together. Goodbye.

8. You deeply regret spending money on sh*t you didn't NEED

You could be rolling in it. If only you'd been more thrifty.

9. Selling old clothes on Ebay becomes a necessity

Oooo someone paid £1.05 for that blouse from 5 years ago! KACHING.

10. You buy everything on a credit card and it feels like free money

Why should I worry?! Oh, credit card fees. That's why.

11. Primark becomes your best friend

A whole new wardrobe for £20? Let me at it!

12. Shopping for ‘value’ and forgetting what quality food tastes like

Ever tried value bread? Don't. Just don't.

13. You don’t understand how the people on your Facebook can afford to go ANYWHERE

How are people my age travelling Asia for six months without a job? Please?

14. Saving money is a wild and inconceivable concept

How do people get savings? Where does it start?

15. You constantly remind yourself that money doesn’t buy happiness

Still, have you ever seen a sad person driving a Porsche?

16. But then you see a picture of Kim Kardashian in her Bentley and you realise that proverb is bullsh*t

WE WANT TO BE RICH AND LIVE ON A YACHT AND DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND LAUGH.

17. You start to panic thinking about your financial future

It's hilarious how much I will have NO property EVER.

18. But then you remember pretty much everyone is in the exact same situation!

Meh, let's all be poor together. We are the 99%!

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This article was written by Emmy Griffiths. Tweet her @emmyfg!

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