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17 Struggles Everyone Who Doesn’t Like Chocolate Will Understand

by Emmy Griffiths Published on 26 January 2015
17 Struggles Everyone Who Doesn’t Like Chocolate Will Understand© iStock

That sugary, creamy substance may have most of the world drooling, but you're no fool. Chocolate will NEVER be your friend, even though this means life is a daily struggle...

1. The utter incomprehension from every single person

"Hang on, what?! But it's the delicious, invaluable snack that heaven sent us?!"

2. You miss out on every kind of treat

Chocolate chip cookies, boxes of chocolate, that quick little Penguin bar - all are lost on you.

3. It’s like you’re insulting someone’s family member when you try to explain yourself

"It's not like I have anything against it, I just don't like the taste!"

4. Sharing a dessert is a permanent no-no

Come on, no one really wants to share a slice of lemon drizzle with you when there's honeycomb chocolate cheesecake on the menu. Just get yourself a coffee and try to keep it together.

5. Romantic gestures are more than often ruined

Chocolate covered strawberries? Arrrghhh.

6. You see everything you’re missing and can’t help but wish you were different

When your friend suggests you meet in a Thorntons cafe or you see a chocolate fountain at a party, you can't help but wish you were a regular human person.

7. M&M World holds absolutely no joy for you

It smells weird, everything is too expensive and there's chocolate. EVERYWHERE.

8. You are entirely indifferent to the fact that cocoa beans are running out

Warnings of a global shortage holds absolutely no horror for you, unlike the rest of the planet.

9. You feel like you should be healthier, but no

You substitute chocolate for crisps. Mmmm, crisps.

10. You are nowhere near as happy as chocolate lovers

Chocolate releases endorphins, which generate happiness and the same sensation you feel when you fall in love. Hating chocolate basically means making yourself miserable.

11. You never have anything to binge on after dinner

When everyone else cracks open that box of Celebrations, what are you going to do? Have a flipping bowl of cereal?! Ugh.

12. Easter is your hell

So many Easter eggs that'll never be eaten. Curse you Easter bunny!

13. Telling your grandma you don’t want any of her platter of biscuits makes you a disappointment

The stoney look of bemusement and disappointment as she puts then bourbons back in the biscuit tin is enough to make us shudder.

14. You try to track back how this happened to you

It must have been at a young age. Why didn't I just keep trying it and build up an immunity?

15. Having to answer how much you don’t like chocolate EVERY TIME someone in the office is passing something around

Your suggestion that someone bring in carrot cake instead of chocolate fudge is laughed out of the office.

16. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory holds no wonder for you

They may as well be going to a mustard factory it's so unappealing. Aside from the fruity wallpaper, obviously.

17. You feel like everyone is at a party you haven’t been invited to

Why can't I love what other people love? Will anyone ever accept this is just who I am?!

Do you go through this struggle? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

This was written by Emmy Griffiths. Follow her @emmyfg!

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