1. I literally feel nothing from those three double vodka and lemonades
2. I bet they didn’t measure it properly
3. I need more.
5. Look how drunk everyone is already! Ambulance Abby has already been taken home for Gods sake!
6. Think a couple of shots might help
7. Do Apple Sourz even get you drunk?
8. Eh who cares they taste really nice and are on offer
9. Now the ‘crazy one’ wants to do Sambuca shots. I probably shouldn’t.
10. BLERGH. GIVE ME MORE!
11. Okay my blood is beginning to feel really hot
12. It’s almost as if I can feel all the alcohol!
13. Toilet selfie tiiiiime whilst I still look banging
14. I also need some of the toilet lady’s deodorant
15. Ooooo she has lollipops! How have I never noticed that before?
16. How did I just spend a fiver in the loos?
17. OH MY GOD! That song that I don’t really like but sort of do is on! DANCEFLOOR!
18. Jump! Jump! Jump!...Why is this song ALWAYS on? Does anyone even like this song?!
19. ‘Trying to impress’ friend is getting really ‘te amo’ up in here. Why do you always choose me to grind on woman?!
20. It’s fine, just pretend you’re loving it.
21. To be fair, everyone IS watching us. God I’m an amazing dancer.
22. Right, so my friends have vanished. Who the hell are these randoms I’m with?!
23. They’re laughing at me though. I am so hilarious, why can’t all of my actual friends see that?!
24. That girl keeps elbowing me and she's doing it on purpose. YOU DON'T OWN THIS SPACE.
25. My feet really hurt
26. They actually feel like they’re filled with blood
27. Maybe I should go to the smoking area and tell them about the dangers of cigarettes. Everyone will thank me for it.
28. Or I could just go have a little sit down on the toilet for five minutes
29. Who’s banging on the door I’M TRYING TO SLEEP
30. Ah, it’s a bouncer. I’ll just pretend I was on the phone, that always works
31. Don’t slur your words don’t slur your words don’t slur your words
32. YESSSSSS. He thought I was stone cold sober.
33. I don’t know how anyone ever gets kicked out of clubs
34. Okay so I just fell over, but the floor was REALLY slippy, it wasn’t because I’m drunk
35. Oooo I want to request a song! Will they play that Frozen one?
36. I wrote ‘please’ with three hearts on the request sheet, so I’m assuming it’ll be the next track
37. You know what would be a great idea right now? Texting my ex.
38. Bet he misses me.
39. Oh wow, I am wrecked.
40. I’m going to go talk calmly to myself in the mirror for a bit
41. I need to get a taxi home right now I’m too drunk
42. None of my friends obviously care about where I am, even though I have about 300 text messages
43. I need fried food NOW or I might literally die
44. So good. This is literally heaven.
45. Someone’s bound to want to share a taxi with me
46. Don’t throw up in the taxi don’t throw up in the taxi don’t throw up in the taxi
47. OMG where are my keys? OMG. OMG.
48. Oh! I attached them to the zip of my bag. Well done, sober me.
49. I’m just going to put my toast right on the pillow next to me in case I get hungry
50. I REGRET NOTHING
What emotions do you go through during a big night out? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!
This article was written by Emmy Griffiths. Follow her @emmyfg!
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