Let's get something clear: to eat at The Bunyadi, you don't have to be naked. It's not a requirement; it's not like there's a sign outside that says 'no phallus, no food' or anything. It's just that the premise of the restaurant is one that promotes 'no impurities'. See, they like to keep everything natural, all the food served will be sans artificial flavourings and chemicals, and the restaurant will have no electricity. Which sounds fun...
Your biggest decision when it comes to The Bunyadi isn't between the vegan or non-vegan menus. You need to think long and hard about whether you wanna wear clothes or whether you're completely happy splitting a starter in your nuddy pants. The logistics of this is something to really contemplate before you decide to hang your undercrackers on a coat hanger in the cloak room - for starters, are you comfortable with a load of strangers seeing you in your naked glory? Then, there's no electricity. On the plus side, that means there's probably going to be some great mood lighting that'll make your body look killah, but then is there a risk that you're going to burn a nip on a table candle?
Are you ok with perhaps getting a few crumbs entangled in your lady garden after indulging in the bread basket? Will you stand up and brush it off like you do with crumbies on your jeans? On a scale of one to uncomfortable, how are you going to feel if you accidentally walk into the clothed section of the restaurant looking for the toilet? And furthermore, how do you feel about peeing naked? Wait - are the waiters naked? Do you really want some guys schlong in your direct eyeline whilst he tempts you with spotted dick for dessert?
There are so many questions that you need to answer before you can even make a reservation there, like who would you take with you? This is hardly the place for a family meal, or 'lunch with the girls'. The Bunyadi describes their vibe as "a secret Pangea-like world, free from phones, electric lights and even clothing". We're not quite sure about how much it's like Pangea; sure it would be free of phones, but there also wouldn't have been a section of Pangea where adequately clothed people ate. It will probably be like Pangea in the way that Pangea had very little in the way of sanitation - can you imagine taking a UV light around that restaurant after a busy Saturday night? I'm certain, as Chris Pratt's Peter Quill would say, that that room would look like 'a Jackson Pollock painting'. Plus, the seating is white - so plan around your period, ladies.
Having said this, if you're truly into embracing new dining experiences, then this could be perf for you. It seems to have caught the attention of many other curious and free-spirited individuals.
The Bunyadi is open from June for three months, and there are already 27,502 people on the waiting list for tickets. May we suggest taking a warm jacket? Because you might be waiting naked for a while. You can put yourself on the waiting list here.
What do you think - would you go naked for a bit of grub? Let us know! @sofeminineUK
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