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Love & Sex

'I'm SO Excited' To 'Out Of Hand Hen Dos': The 22 Stages Of Being A Bridesmaid

by cheree Published on 23 May 2014
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Being a bridesmaid is one of life's greatest honours right? Well yeah... kinda. From having to pay for everything to wearing THAT dress, the journey from engagement to wedding day can be a rocky ole road. So for all the bridesmaids out there here are the 22 stages you'll all go through.

There are some highs and some really unexpected lows to being a bridesmaid. One moment you're on one hell of an emotional high, the next it will totally suck - yeah, your moods can get pretty irrational.

​But when things get a little tense with your demanding bride we've got one piece of advice: smile and nod, it's your duty... and make sure your she never EVER knows if you're pissed off.

So if you've been asked to be a bridesmaid, here's the stages you need to be prepared for...

1. You find out she's engaged

You finally get 'the call' - cut to you squealing down your phone for 10 straight minutes.

2. The paranoia sets in

It's been like a month already, did all those drunken talks about being her bridesmaid mean nothing?!?! What if you're not even invited. Shiiiiiit.

3. You find out YOU ARE A BRIDESMAID

More squealing. More crying. You didn't know you could feel these kinds of EMOTIONS.

4. Then there's the drah-mah

Your friend phones to say she's not been asked.... You've suddenly got reeeeeally bad signal.

5. The 'Bridesmaids' Facebook groups start

You'll start to despise the words "OMG I'm SO excited" more than you'll ever know.

6. You begin dress shopping

You'll L-O-V-E this. So much pastel, so little time.

7. Yah, you're DONE with dress shopping

Two hours in there's been tears, tantrums and a whole lotta body shaming. You quickly become aware that finding something that fits you all perfectly - juuuust ain't gonna happen.

8. You weigh up the competition

You come to accept there's no way in hell you'll look as hot as her 6ft blonde bombshell of a sister.

9. But then... You find the dress

And remember why you loved dress shopping! Yay!

10. The 'hen' emails start rolling in

Phew - you're glad someone's taking the lead...

11. Then the joy fades. Fast.

If you get one more email about freaking goody bags you'll lose your sh*t.

12. Things start to spiral

Burlesque class? Life drawing? Spa day? GLEE dance class? Nights out... AND stripper?

13. Aaaaaaand it starts to get expensive

Whoever decided hen dos needed to be the WHOLE weekend needs to be shot.

14. Then you go and...

BEST. WEEKEND. EVERRRR.

15. You get the Pinterest 'Wedding Inspiration' board invite

And it's the best distraction you will have in your life for a long, long time.

16. Then comes the backlash

Why isn't this MY wedding!

17. You get sick of the ENDLESS craft talk

Who wants to get married now?

18. You register there's a lot more to sort than just a dress

Do you pay for your shoes/manicure/bag/hair? Does she? How much does this stuff cost exactly?

19. You realise you've officially spent your savings on this wedding

Yep, that holiday in September - NOT gonna happen.

20. Then you remember the present...

You're faced with the dilemma of getting the cheapest thing you can get that 'means something' or selling your house.

21. You get the rage

Does she even KNOW how much you're spending on her?!? GUH.

22. Then you get to the rehearsal

And all rage disappears and you remember the reason you were excited in the first place; Love!

23. The big day finally comes

And it was totally perfect. You love your Bride so much. Thank god she made you a bridesmaid!

Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

by cheree