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Note-Leavers, Hoarders And Slobs: 24 Housemates We’ve All Experienced

by Emmy Griffiths Published on 11 July 2014

Whether your housemates are your best friends or just people you were thrown into a house with, living with several other people seems to bring out the best and the worst in everyone (including you). So are you the messy one, or the clean freak? The whiner, or the passive-agressive note leaver? Here are the 24 categories we all fall into...

1. The one who parties

We love going out, but not all the time. There’s always that person who seems to reject sleep, thinks getting an early night is a made up concept and comes blaring in at three in the morning with ALL their mates. Ugh.

​More than anything it makes us slightly depressed that we’ve become the one who tells them to 'shh' all the time. No one wants to be that person.

2. The one who hogs the TV

They’ve been watching TV for six hours now. We wouldn’t mind joining in with them, but seriously there’s only so much Come Dine With Me we can handle. At least if you’re going to binge watch, watch something good.

3. The one who can’t do box sets

Speaking of binge watching. If we’re all hungover (or just plain lazy) and there’s a glorious box set that can entertain us all day sat right there, then WHY can’t we watch it? Get on board!

4. The one who can cook gourmet food

Your house always smells delicious and it is NEVER your food but rather the Masterchef-worthy extravaganza is made from-scratch by your housemate every goddamn day.

Just buy a microwave meal already and quit pretending you've got your life together. It just brings out such irrational rage in us...

5. The one who is ALWAYS THERE

When you live in a house with a bunch of other people, sometimes there is that blissful few hours where you have the place to yourself and can let go of all inhibitions. But you can’t if you have THAT housemate who NEVER LEAVES.

For the good of house harmony, go make some evening plans already so we don’t have to!

6. The one who leaves notes

We can’t handle that person who leaves 'polite' notes that are dripping with utter loathing under the surface. In fact, we’ll go out of our way to ignore said note.

Case and point, if you think the below is acceptable, you are a terrible human being.

7. The one who hoards

Last time we checked, you had five mugs in your room and they just keep building up. The rest of us have started using paper cups. GET IT TOGETHER.

8. The one who leaves a mess

When is the final straw? When they’ve left crumbs on the side? When they don’t wash up their saucepan? When their congealed takeaway has been on the side for three weeks? Whatever happens, you know you’ll end up caving and cleaning it before they do. Damn.

9. The one we're not sure exists

They never leave their room and you ponder whether or not they do, in fact, exist. You’re also more than a little afraid that one day they will come out of that room and straight up murder you.

10. The one with the activities

For you, the first thing when you get home from work is to pop on your PJs. So when you have that housemate that is dashing out past you to make it to the gym/yoga/jazz dance/pottery/graffiti art class, it's fair to say you get a little stressed at their seemingly boundless energy.

11. The one who always has their mum round

It’s lovely to meet the mums and our house always seems nicer after a visit. Like, was that bowl of potpourri always there?! But weekend after weekend of the parents, come on!

We can’t lie on the sofa binge-watching Gogglebox all day when we’re trying to make a good impression and that’s ALL WE WANT TO DO.

12. The one who is a musician

Take your guitar, your ukulele, your triangle and GO AWAY.

There is literally nothing worse than politely listening to someone’s guitar compilation. If you are one of these people, we promise you are NOT the exception to this rule, unless you’re a member of Mumford and Sons. Sorrynotsorry.

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13. The one who’s always too cold

Even if the house is an oven there’s always that one who wanders around miserably in fingerless gloves and a blanket bemoaning the heat. Finding the radiators on full blast in July? HELL NO.

14. The one who hogs the shower

We are literally begging you to stop this. There is only one shower and it deserves to be shared equally. Don’t make us start a morning rota. We really don’t want to start a morning rota. But we will start a morning rota.

15. The one who is a stoner

The house stinks of weed and no, their stupid incense is NOT fooling anyone. GTFO.

16. The one who loves a one night stand

Is there anything more awkward than the breakfast conversation you have with your housemate’s one night stand? No. No there is not.

17. The one who is overly friendly

It’s nice to live with friendly people, but honestly they need to back OFF.

Nipping into our room to ask a "quick question", suddenly turns into lounging on our bed for three hours WAY too often with this person.

18. The one who loves to whine

We’re really sorry that they hate their boss, that guy didn’t text them back and their life is so miserable but we’re trying to do things that really matter. Like catching up on Orange is the New Black.

19. The one who likes to throwing away our shit

We don’t care if our bread has turned green, it belongs to us and it’s over when we say it’s over!

20. The one who always wants to share food

“Oooo that looks amazing, can I try a bit?!” Sure, it only took an hour to make. We’ll just try some of theirs at 2AM to make it fair.

21. The one who is just TOO clean

If we want to leave the washing up to say, AFTER we've actually finished eating the meal we've just prepared, we can. We do not need their judgement, nor their antibacterial hand wipes, thanks.

22. The one who never flushes

All they need to do is reach over and pull that little lever. But they are revolting disappointments to mankind and refuse to do this simple act of human kindness. Did they really think we wanted to see what they’d left there?! BLERGH.

23. The one who doesn’t get boundaries

They just walk right on into our room to tell us the bills are due? OUR DOOR WAS CLOSED FOR A REASON AND IT WAS TO GET AWAY FROM THEM.

24. The one who steals our sh*t

We had so much butter, cheese and mouthwash before they showed up. Now our toast is dry, our breath is smelly and we don’t even want to talk about the unforgivable offence of cheese theft, ESPECIALLY when they don't own up to it. Lowest of the low.

Which ones can you own up to? Tweet us @sofeminineUK.

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