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Why I've Never Enjoyed Making Out

by Emma Goddard ,
Why I've Never Enjoyed Making Out© Getty Images

For as long as I can remember, I've always disliked making out. Ever since middle school and my first real "french" I've found it to be pretty meh, no matter who it's been with. Maybe it's because my first makeout sesh involved a guy basically eating my face, or because I just remember it being horribly awkward the first time I tried it and am scarred for life, but whatever the reason, playing tonsil hockey just isn't my thing.

I know almost all of you reading this are thinking, "What the hell is wrong with this girl?" and I completely understand. Some days I think I'm insane too, but at the same time I feel like I'm not really missing out on anything, except for maybe checking for cavities. Before you start a riot, might I add that I didn't just make out with someone once when I was 13 and go, "Nah, not for me." I've tried it time and time again with every boyfriend, fling, and hookup I've ever had, and still thought #nope.

In fact, my past two boyfriends and my current boyfriend (poor guy) all pointed it out to me when we first began dating. I can remember one ex asking very directly, "So, do you not like making out or something?" Obviously me pursing my lips every time a guy has attempted to make out has led to some questions and at times uncomfortable conversations over the past several years, but to each his own right?

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That's not to say that anything has been wrong with the guys who've attempted to swap spit with me (OK, maybe some of them), just for clarification. I'm actually in an extremely fulfilling and happy relationship right now, but I just don't get a thrill out of making out like some people do. Am I trying to see if I can tie his tongue like a cherry stem? Are we playing thumb wars, but with our mouths? Can he taste the leftover Chinese food that's probably stuck to my teeth right now?

I could just dislike it because I don't feel like I'm a pro and lack self-confidence, which would make sense because I do it as rarely as I possibly can, but even with how comfortable I am with my boyfriend (seriously though), I'd rather just kiss him sans tongue. We've (yes, he and I both) have attempted to get me into making out by practicing this and seeing if I like that, but much to my boyfriend's dismay, I've remained the same. Though it might sound strange, I actually want to like french kissing as much as the next person, but it's a no-go. That little spit string you get when you pull away from your SO? Mood killer fo realz.

The humorous thing about all of this is that I'm actually not a prude, despite what you all must believe at this point. I swear my boyfriend's life isn't completely miserable. Honestly, he's pretty much accepted it at this point, and quite frankly I'm not like a first-season-of-Glee Rachel Berry, but more like an every-episode-of-Bob's Burgers Tina Belcher when it comes to everything else.

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Perhaps it's due to the fact that I'm such a sappy romantic and know that unlike in The Notebook, a good makeout doesn't happen after a boat ride through a lake of ducks while in the pouring rain, but despite how much sh*t I'll probably get for this, I really just appreciate a nice, long peck. Or pecks. Whatever. I actually find it more intimate because I'm not worried about whether or not I'm drooling on my boyfriend's face, if I should be moving my lips just like his like I'm a mime, or if the tongue motion I'm using is at all satisfying.

7 Hot Kisses Which Don't Involve Making Out

And since I'd rather not embarrass my friends and family by having them share their own experiences, here are a few fictional but famous kissing scenes from movies (which don't involve the characters making out) to prove my point:

"Gone With the Wind" - Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler: One big, fat kiss.

"Dirty Dancing" - Baby Houseman and Johnny Castle: Who needs to make out when you can dance like that? Definitely the sexiest scene of the entire movie and yet the kissing is at a minimum.

"Crazy, Stupid, Love." - Jacob and Hannah: Remember the part when Hannah stomps into the bar and plants a big wet one on Jacob in front of everyone? Super steamy, but there actually isn't any tongue action.

"She's All That" - Laney Boggs and Zack Siler: Right after she tells him to shut up, Laney goes in for a closed-mouth kiss during the final scene.

"The Great Gatsby" - Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatsby: A young Daisy and Jay steal a kiss at a party before having sexy time. They continue to kiss but don't make out.

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" - Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley: That time Ginny hid Snape's copy of "Advanced Potion-Making" in the Room of Requirement and was so sneaky when she went in for a kiss.

"Spider-Man" - Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson: Despite what you think you remember, this scene actually doesn't include any frenching.

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Anyway, you probably get the picture. Although I'm aware that not all films are like this (my heart broke a little being unable to include "Titanic"), and that films aren't always accurate portrayals of reality, these few examples (and my personal experience) just reveal how making out isn't always necessary in order to have a good time. Maybe if I made out with my boyfriend every day I'd actually start to like it and maybe it's just something I haven't given enough of a chance, but I can tell you right now that I'll probably never enjoy making out.

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Do you have any kissing pet peeves? Tweet us @sofeminineUK!

This article was written by Emma Goddard. Follower her on Twitter @egoddardhokie.

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