It's happening. You're actually getting married and it's time to celebrate your last night of freedom, planned by your best friends. Your friends that are a little wild, know ALL of your secrets and have questionable morals...What's the worst than can happen?
1. Emails, emails and more emails
Way before the fun can begin one poor friend is sending mass emails and whats app messages to everyone who knows you, even that girl she can't stand, trying to sort out the perfect hen do. Who knew that trying to find a weekend that fits everyone was the key to mental breakdown?
2. Does the mother-in-law get an invite debate
It's going to be a messy night. What's seen, can't be unseen.
3. The awkward meeting of all your friends
You have your home friends, your work friends and your uni friends - someone is bound to not like some one. Nothing a couple of shots can't solve.
4. Shots Shots Shots
Tequila shots, vodka shots, sambuca shots... Anything and everything that can be a shot, will be and you will regret every single one of them the morning after.
5. You will be wearing some sort of costume.
There is no avoiding it. You will be in some sort of silly outfit with a pink sashes, fur trimmed tiara and an inflatable penis attached to you. You are the bride after all, you have to stand out.
6. Male genitals EVERYWHERE.
We don't know what it is about hen dos that makes women go penis crazy. Like genuinely obsessed with penises. From straws to cakes, a penis is sure to play a big role on your hen do.
7. A stripper will be involved.
Doesn't matter how many times you say you don't want one, you will get a stripper. Because nothing screams hen do like an oily stranger all up on you. It will be super awkward and you won't know what to do but our advice? Just embrace it, this is tame compared to the rest of the night.
8. Dodgy Gifts
Cue more penises.
9. Some one will be out by 9pm
There's always one that peaks too early. She's hit the shots too hard and it's time to get her home before things get really ugly.
10. Some one will cry
Most likely the recent dumpee; it was meant to be her getting married. It's not that she's not happy for you, it's just that she wanted to be the one handcuffed to a inflatable penis.
11. Someone will make a fool of themselves
Did you not read what we've just said? Shots, silly outfits, penis memorabilia, pink sashes, and a group of very drunk girls...it’s pretty inevitable.
12. Someone will text the groom.
At some point, one of the girls will message the groom, he will most likely get a picture of you grubbing the oily stripper. But whatever you do, just make sure it's not the recent dumpee thats doing the texting. In fact for her own sake, make sure you take all phones away from her.
13. Live tweeting
And it will go a little something like this: "Soooooooooooooooo drunkwithdagals a willy cake. #SHOTS #LOL." *shudder*
14. Center of attention
There’s something about a group of women in a bar, covered in L Plates, veils and neon tutus that gets people attention. Your mate riding the inflatable willy doesn't help either.
15. A whole lot of loving
Your friends are so great, like so freaking great! Look at all this effort they’ve gone to for you. You just love them so much you could cry.
16. Hen Games
You will play scavenger hunt and it will include some random guys boxers. It's all part of the fun.
17. Drunken Call To The Groom
Since you're in the mood to spread some love, you just have to call your future hubby. You love him, you're so excited to be his wife and it doesn't matter if it's 2.30 in the morning, he needs to know NOW!
18. DJ Request
OMG OMG! Someones requested Beyonce Single ladies. Cue all your girls heading to the dance floor and getting your Yoncé ON!
19. Stags and Hens Meet
You’ll meet some stags on your journeys, swap clothes and take pictures together like you’re kindred spirits. Standard.
20. You will befriend the pole
If there's a pole or anything resembling a pole in sight you will be on it. Because you are sexy, you are one sexy pole dancing bride.
21. It will all end in a kebab shop
Where all good nights end.
22. Some genius will put it all on Facebook
Or Twitter, or Instagram or all of the above and you will get to relive the night all over again through 149 tagged photos uploaded by your over-keen friend. Looking at the pictures alone will make you feel a little sick - in a good way obviously.
This article was written by Tolani Shoneye. Follow her on @tolly_t
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