Girls of the world with chronic period pain we feel ya; and it's time to join together in our misery. I truly understand your pain because I too am one of the unlucky sufferers. From nausea and excessive bloating to having a hot water bottle tied to my waist, each month my period is complete hell. Yes, I appreciate we all suffer from some form of discomfort from mother nature's little monthly gift, but I'm talking about the really, seriously painful cramps where taking a week off work is seriously an option, not your average pain that can be sorted with paracetamol. Oh, if only paracetamol would nip it in the bud!
From vomiting with the pain to that little waddle you adopt while clutching at and rubbing your tummy for the week, here's the suffering that is all too real for girls with chronic cramps. Remember you're not alone in this. Now where did I put my microwavable teddy?
1. When you spend the days before your period literally dreading the day you come on, cos you know exactly what you've got in store
2. And the moment you do come on you think you might possibly faint from the pain
3. Breathing in and out deeply and clutching at your back like you're in the first stages of labour, is a pose commonly adopted by you during this week
Come on, we're gonna get through this.
4. When your friends tell you they don't really get period pain and you just can't possibly understand it, so you just look at them like they've just told you they fancy your dad
5. You keep a hot water bottle under your desk at ALL times
And get the strangest looks from colleagues when you fill it up in the communal kitchen during the middle of summer. Who gives AF?
6. When getting out of bed feels like you're actually dying so you just slither out from beneath the duvet like a serpent and crawl to the bathroom
It's been seven hours since our last painkiller and our body wants us to know about it
7. You plan your outfits around your period. Tight jeans are a complete NO NO as is anything else tight or fitted cos the pressure on your tummy makes you feel even more queasy
If it's floaty/baggy/oversized we're IN
8. You have to constantly eat to soak up all of the painkillers you're taking
McDonald's for breakfast and lunch is both needed and totally justified
9. When you meet someone that has the same pain as you it feels like you've genuinely just met your soulmate and you end up chatting about your monthly trauma together and instantly become BFFs cos you've finally met someone that understands you
10. ... so of course you seize the rare opportunity to swap coping tips, pain relief methods and horror stories
11. You have to make plans around your period cos there ain't no way you can make any during those days of hell
'How about the following week?'
12. Subconsciously rubbing your belly all day so much that you actually look like you're rubbing a little bun in the oven, the slow little waddle doesn't help either...
You've become so used to getting odd looks from people who walk past you in the street you don't even notice anymore
13. Don't even get us started on our daily commute. With pain like this, having to stand for the journey is like hell on earth
We've actually began wondering when the period on board badge will become a thing
14. Doctors never take you seriously no matter how many times you've been in to see them about it
Yep I've tried that and that, and no I don't want to start taking or try a different contraceptive pill THANK YOU VERY MUCH
15. Cos paracetamol and ibuprofen don't even help a teeny bit
Goddammit it we've popped that many painkillers, we basically dissolve in water now
16. You seriously wonder if you can crawl around the office instead of walking because being scrunched up in the foetal position is way more comfortable than sitting upright at your desk
17. You could be sick with the pain at any time so carrying around a plastic bag is essential
It's all in the prep
What's your worst period gripe? Let us know @SofeminineUK!
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