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'The Only Time A Woman Has A True Orgasm Is When She's Shopping' 20 LOL Funny Fashion Quotes

by Lareese Craig Published on 19 March 2014
© Cara Delevingne Instagram

Fashion gets a hard time for being all business and no banter but when the show is over and Karl Lagerfeld starts talking sweatpants you're talking pure entertainment. Inspirational quotes, we're so over you. We want spit-out-your food one-liners and nothing less. Here's the funniest fashion soundbites we've ever heard.

Victoria Beckham on heels

"I can't concentrate in flats." Remind us to use this one next time we leave the house in Converse with our top inside out. Or when we 'forget' we were giving up chocolate for lent. Damn you brogues.

Carrie Bradshaw's cash closet

"I like my money where I can see it... hanging in my closet." Girl. After. Our. Own. Heart.

Coco Chanel gets too big for her boots

"I don't do fashion, I am fashion." Oh wow. That's powerful. But also kinda cocky (confused face).

Tomboy confessions

"The first time I was a bridesmaid I refused to go down the aisle without my football shorts underneath." Guess who? Here's a clue - she pulls faces a lot, has the best brows in the business and she likes to cuddle Karl Lagerfeld. A lot.

Marriage according to Manolo Blahnik

"Men tell me I've saved their marriages. It costs them a fortune in shoes, but it's cheaper than divorce so I'm still useful." Marriage counselling? Hell no, just buy us some Manolos and be done with you.

The Toe Cleavage

Because one soundbite from Manolo is never enough... he once said: "The secret of toe cleavage, a very important part of the sexuality of the shoe; you must only show the first two cracks." Finally, now we know how to make our summer feet sexy. No Pedicure required!

Shake your tooshie says Oscar de la Renta

"Walk like you have three men walking behind you." If he means, cross the road, pick up the pace and get nervous sweats then we've got this one down to a T.

How we'd hate to be THAT intern

"Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking." Oh how we love Miranda Priestly aka Meryl Streep inThe Devil Wears Prada.

Shopaholic syndrome

"Well, these cashmere gloves I need as it's winter and... I have hands." When Isla Fisher played Rebecca Bloomwood in Confessions Of A Shopaholic we were totally on board with her practical shopping strategy.

Fashion icon? Me? No way!

"I really would not call myself a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by pros, it's like, 'dance monkey, dance!' right on the red carpet. I would call me more of a monkey." And so our obsession with Jennifer Lawrence deepens.

Erin Wasson on ditching the designers

"I don't get the whole Isabel Marant thing. I'm sorry but I'm not going to spend $1200 on a western shirt and go back to Texas and get it for five bucks." She makes total sense. We love this girl.

Bin the sweatpants

"Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants." That's hurtful Mr Lagerfeld, really hurtful but God is he right. Binning chocolate covered, Ketchup stained sweats as we speak.

Why you should always avoid zippers

"If you're trying to slip out without waking a sleeping man, zips are a nightmare. Haven't you ever tried to creep out of a room unnoticed the following morning? I've done that many times." Oh la la, we don't know what you mean! Diane Von Furstenberg's airing all her dirty laundry and we love it. Naturally.

Alexa Chung pulls a Britney

"I was at school when Britney Spears Baby One More Time came on. I changed my uniform to look like hers, I just looked slutty after that so thank you Britney." The late 90s were a bad time for us all don't worry about it Chungster.

Kanye gets real. Again.

"Visiting my mind is like visiting the Hermes factory. S**t is real." OK Kayne, OK.

Miley Cyrus on why she's so great

"I feel like every girl is trying to have a beauty slot and prove that they're 'fashion' but I can be in white leggings and a white sports bra and I'm on a whole other level of s**t that those girls don't even get yet because they don't know how to do it." There are no words. Other than we think Miley and Kanye would get on very well indeed.

Butt talk

"I remember the first thing a woman does as she puts shoes on. She goes straight to the mirror and she actually turns around to look at her ass." Christian Louboutin speaks the truth. We're all guilty but why do we do it?

Sex or shopping? It's a tough call

"The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she's shopping." Queen of mean Joan Rivers has said some crazy stuff before but we're with her on this one. Last time we tried on a pair of Louboutins we were pretty vocal. For a in-depth analysis of our reaction google Monica Friends *Seven* episode.

Lady Gaga hates on flip-flops

"I feel like flip-flops are the downfall of many relationships. It's like first it's the flip-flops and then it's the sweatpants. It's the gateway drug to no sex." Note to self - don't panic buy Birkenstocks this summer. Just don't do it.

The finale: Armpits, dirty armpits

"I never did a dirty armpit. You can look dirty, but you can't be dirty." Ladies, Kate Moss has spoken. Never think twice about taking baby wipes to V Festival.

Dirty armpits, toe cleavage and divorce! Whose famous fashion words had you laughing out loud? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

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