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21 Stages Every Girl Goes Through When She's Online Shopping

by Lareese Craig Published on 8 June 2015

Online shopping. It kills us every time. One minute you’re settling into bed with a bit of free time on your hands, the next you've lost four hours to mindlessly scrolling through ASOS. When will we deal with our addiction? Here’s the 21 stages every girl goes through when she's online shopping.

1. Window shopping

You start ‘looking’ at the new in section like oh I'll just jam here for a while.

2. The zombie scrolling

What begins as a few solitary scrolls turns into ten tabs of Topshop, ASOS, H&M… you know all this.

3. You go overboard

You’ll just whack a few things into your basket and sort it out at the end. YOLO-ing at its best.

4. You curse your power source

So many nice dresses and not enough battery. NOOOOO.

5. The justification

You know it’s black, and you kinda have it already but you’ll wear it every day won’t you.

6. You think you're capable of culling

Ok, let’s go back through and look at what you really have to have now.

7. And then you realise

Everything is essential if you're to survive this life.

8. The talking yourself into it begins

Maybe watching the catwalk will help.

9. You give your beaten ego a little rub

Oh she looks so hot. Like an angel. I could be that angel and then Taylor Swift will be all, 'hey you wanna be in my video'.

10. Things get sassy

Screw it. I work hard, I deserve a nice overpriced dress or two.

11. The sass subsides and now you're just a sweaty, shaking mess

Oh, £500… remove, exit, forget about all the nice things you could have had and hate on the fact that you're not Kim K and never will be.

12. The saving grace

I’m gonna find a poor person’s discount code OR flirt with a student on Tinder.

13. Your fingers get a mind of their own

Typing in card deets. There’s no going back now.

14. It becomes official in writing

Thank you your order has been received. So this is how it feels to be truly fulfilled in life.

15. Until...

The thrill’s short lived #InstantBuyersRemorse.

16. The wait

The next 5-7 business days are gonna suck ass.

17. The survival plan

I can get round this. A car boot here and there, packed lunches every day. It's all gravy.

18. The catwalk

Everything arrives *must cancel all plans for night of bedroom catwalking*

19. You don't even know who you are anymore

What did I even buy? Was I drunk?

20. The returns process

The returns process begins. Reason for returning item? Jees it's like when the Dr's Surgery asks what's wrong with you, why could you possibly need an appointment so urgently. Erm, I was trying to keep it on the DL but I'M FREAKING POOR OK!?

21. The coping strategy

Browse in our misery? Why the hell not, it's what we're good at.

Are you an online shopaholic? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

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