1. Window shopping
You start ‘looking’ at the new in section like oh I'll just jam here for a while.
2. The zombie scrolling
What begins as a few solitary scrolls turns into ten tabs of Topshop, ASOS, H&M… you know all this.
3. You go overboard
You’ll just whack a few things into your basket and sort it out at the end. YOLO-ing at its best.
4. You curse your power source
So many nice dresses and not enough battery. NOOOOO.
5. The justification
You know it’s black, and you kinda have it already but you’ll wear it every day won’t you.
6. You think you're capable of culling
Ok, let’s go back through and look at what you really have to have now.
7. And then you realise
Everything is essential if you're to survive this life.
8. The talking yourself into it begins
Maybe watching the catwalk will help.
9. You give your beaten ego a little rub
Oh she looks so hot. Like an angel. I could be that angel and then Taylor Swift will be all, 'hey you wanna be in my video'.
10. Things get sassy
Screw it. I work hard, I deserve a nice overpriced dress or two.
11. The sass subsides and now you're just a sweaty, shaking mess
Oh, £500… remove, exit, forget about all the nice things you could have had and hate on the fact that you're not Kim K and never will be.
12. The saving grace
I’m gonna find a poor person’s discount code OR flirt with a student on Tinder.
13. Your fingers get a mind of their own
Typing in card deets. There’s no going back now.
14. It becomes official in writing
Thank you your order has been received. So this is how it feels to be truly fulfilled in life.
The thrill’s short lived #InstantBuyersRemorse.
16. The wait
The next 5-7 business days are gonna suck ass.
17. The survival plan
I can get round this. A car boot here and there, packed lunches every day. It's all gravy.
18. The catwalk
Everything arrives *must cancel all plans for night of bedroom catwalking*
19. You don't even know who you are anymore
What did I even buy? Was I drunk?
20. The returns process
The returns process begins. Reason for returning item? Jees it's like when the Dr's Surgery asks what's wrong with you, why could you possibly need an appointment so urgently. Erm, I was trying to keep it on the DL but I'M FREAKING POOR OK!?
21. The coping strategy
Browse in our misery? Why the hell not, it's what we're good at.
Are you an online shopaholic? Tweet us @sofeminineUK
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