1. When someone asks you which product you’ve used, you don’t just tell them. You give them the A-Z of your makeup arsenal and every movement you made on your face. Thorough is your middle name.
2. You actually enjoy putting your face on. What? It’s therapeutic.
3. You’re the chosen one that has to school your friends on how to contour FFS.
4. You will openly ask a stranger what lipstick they’re wearing. You’ll chase them down the street if you have to.
5. You'll stop at nothing until you look like this guy:
6. You make a night of cleaning your makeup brushes and then wish you never did it because they take 101 days to dry.
7. The back of your hand never makes it out of a Mac store clean. Ever.
8. You can’t stop yourself from looking at someone’s makeup and thinking about all the things they could have done.
9. Your lateness can usually be justified by one hand gesture alone (points to brows).
10. You can tell the difference between Ruby Woo and Lady Danger all day long.
11. When people talk about blue toned reds and orange toned reds, you’re like hey, soul mate, where ya been?
12. Most of your life is disorganised but your lippies? Now they’ve got their sh*t together.
13. When someone starts the whole, ‘So why do you feel the need to wear so much makeup, are you insecure?’ conversation you have to do everything in your being to stop yourself launching a liquid eyeliner at their baby fresh face.
14. Nothing ruins your day like a mascara wand in your eye.
15. Or the kind of rain that’s out to dethrone your brows. You can take anything else: my clothes, my hair but you leave my brows the fleek alone.
16. People that say why bother with a beauty blender when you can use your fingers… you’re going to have trust issues. Because it’s sensual to the touch and leaves my makeup undetectable mmm K.
17. You wish you could enjoy crisp white sheets. But you can't #thestrugglethough
18. Eyelid mascara is the devil. THE DEVIL.
19. If it’s not a good eyeliner day everyone’s gonna know about it.
20. You obviously have a favourite brow.
21. You're on shade only terms with most of your lipticks aren't ya Honey Love.
22. Your phone is 90% makeup selfies / screenshots of other people on Instagram’s makeup selfies.
23. “Hang on, what’s contouring?” Blood. Boiling.
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