We've gotta hold our hands up, even if it's just to give ourselves one giant pat on the back. Girls just love to tell fibs! It's not about being dishonest, it's mostly about fabricating the truth so that we come out looking better.
Most of the time we’re entirely innocent and let’s just emphasise these are harmless white lies. We’re not about to tell you we love you when we don’t (ahem).
Whether it's to our boyfs or our besties, here's 25 white lies every girl is guilty of.
1. Dress size
The idea of figure faking is so much better than the reality. We'll have you thinking we're an 8 instead of a 10 but then you'll fluff up our master plans by trying to be all nice and buy us something. One more thing for us to never wear and return then!
2. What we ate for lunch
We'll gloat about our healthy lunch of kale, avo and sweetcorn but conveniently forget to mention the whole packet of Twirl Bites we munched through at 3pm. Wait, did someone order pizza to the building? Yeah we had NOTHING to do with it.
3. Going to the gym
When that one annoying colleague remembers exactly when you say you're going to work out. Every. Single. Time. It's like she's on commission for Herbalife or something. The truth? You went home and sat on your arse with a box of Malteasers and thought about how good it feels to be doing Jack sh*t.
4. Our ratchet past
Ok, here's the truth. It's 3. Ok, it's 4. Final answer 5. You know what, I'll make a list and get back to you.
5. How much we shop
Boyfriend: "Do I hear bags in the hallway."
Us: "Yeah, but it was all sale stuff so really I saved money" (scurries upstairs to shred receipts).
6. Being busy
We've all read text messages and thought we'll reply later. Much later. It usually starts with, "I'm sorry I've only just seen this." Throw in the occasional use of 'hun' and 'babe' and you're flying. PS if texts were anything like Whatsapp we'd be screwed. That thing knows everything.
7. Being on time
"I'll be right there I'm just leaving..." She muffles from the depths of her duck feather quilt. Here's a thought, what if one day our bed doesn't hold us hostage and we're actually doing what we say we're doing?
8. It wasn’t me
Rule number 1: Girls talk. So you swore you wouldn't tell, but the gossip was just TOO juicy. If this backfires just remember you'd never talk sh*t behind her back. Bottom line.
9. How old we are
Whether it's applying for a job, on a date or just an everyday introduction, it's never too early to subtract a year or three.
10. Returning clothes
We return clothes when they don't fit, but also after having worn them a few times/ruined them completely/vomiting down the front of them. Luckily we manage to stick the tag back in and remove all traces of... but that's none of your business.
11. What TV you want to watch
Downton, Made In Chelsea, Gogglebox they can all wait because we just love watching football with you.
12. Totally cool with strip clubs
Hot girls stripping off and gyrating on various objects (which at some point might include your penis), can't think why we wouldn't be cool with that.
13. We had SO much fun
About that... zero fun was had. The whole thing was just sucky.
14. Nights out
It was pretty tame, you were totally sensible for once and you definitely didn't attempt to get naked everytime they played Beyonce.
It's a theory of obligation. Someone buys a new outfit, it's girl duty to tell her she looks nice. Your friend's dyed her hair, it's way easier to say it looks nice than to ask if she gave them a picture of David Bowie.
16. I'll be ready in 15 minutes
*Sits on bed and stares at wardrobe*
17. Hunger. So much hunger
If we're out on a date with you, chances are we're gonna want to eat your arm by the end of it. But it's fine because we're not even hungry. Promise.
18. Pooping doesn't happen
We're gonna need at least three months before we even admit we burp let alone fart in front of you. Gotta love those stomach gurgles. SO romantic.
19. My hair? Of course it's real
Dare you to swing on it.
20. Nothing's wrong
Watch. Your. Back.
21. No filter
Please. Even when there's no filter, there's a filter.
22. I'm telling you I'm not jealous
All those girlfriends you have, we heart them. We're just glad everyone loves you as much as we do because let's face it we LOVE competition.
23. I'm not gonna drunk text tonight
Things would be a whole lot better if you could un-see everything that was said last night.
24. I'm not wearing any makeup
Who are we kidding? It takes makeup to look natural.
25. Not eating a thing all day
What can we say? Girls and exaggeration go together like Carrie and Cosmos.
What white lies are you guilty of telling on a regular basis? Tweet us @sofeminineUK
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