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23 Things That Go Down When Shopping In Zara

by Lareese Craig Published on 6 March 2015

I write this article with weekly (hangs head in shame) experience of shopping in Zara. Anyone that knows me accepts me in spite of my addiction but if I'm honest, when the shop assistants start to point you out as THAT woman, you know you should probably start wearing a wig or something. Here's 23 things that go down when shopping in Zara.

I have a love/hate relationship with Zara. Mostly love, but then there are those times when trying to shop while listening to Enrique Iglesias on repeat together with that constant beeping from the god damn security alarm makes me question my obsession with Spanish separates in a big way.

I give you 23 things that go down when shopping in Zara.

1. DUST dust everywhere

Piles and piles of the stuff just jamming in the corner of the changing room. And now it's in your toes. Great.

2. Only 6 items in the changing rooms betch

You've seen me standing underneath this heap of clothes, sweating like a pig for half an hour and NOW you tell me I'm only allowed six items in there. Is there any justice in the fashion world?

3. When there's a sale on

You try 20 items on but it's too bad because you can still only take 6 in at a time. But can't you hold some items for me? Nope, but if you hurry it might still be on the rail when you come back out. Oh really, so now I've gotta take on The Cube in order to get my items. This isn't Jungle Run chica!

4. You form an allegiance with fellow queue people

You get supportive nods and frowns from the people behind you: *This is absurd, don't they want us to spend money in their shop* Yes, because it's their shop. They care.

5. The knitwear knows you're a weak person

It's like honey to the bee.

6. It's the only time you consider £42 for a top reasonable

It's an investment piece ok, I'll wear it ALL the time.

7. All those plans you had for the day, yeah they don't happen

By the time you've worked your way round the store (twice admittedly), smelt every single perfume, queued for eternity to visit the dust mites, waited for the shop assistant to go to Narnia to look for that other shoe you want to buy... it's weekend over.

8. The security bleep goes off. Again.

IT WASN'T ME. I'm only going red because it's loud and everyone is looking.

9. You fight with the huge cardboard labels

Those things will stab you in the back if they have to.

10. Good luck returning anything

Seriously. It's like the Spanish inquisition. She needs to get her manager, who then needs to get her manager, and her manager wants to see bank statements, receipts and proof that you're not a robot. Jees they're not this picky in Topshop.

11. When you see someone walking around with the EXACT thing that you came here to find

THERE BETTER BE MORE.

12. You remember that the handbags and shoes aren't always at eye level

They like to put them out of reach. You've gotta work out for your accessories you know.

13. The kids section is so CHIC

Little tiny Zara clad kiddywinks. Nawww!

14. You see something white

But it's covered in makeup. Do you a) buy it anyway b) put it back disapprovingly c) hand it to the ever helpful staff like a responsible shopper or D) buy it, wash it, wear it, wash again, return it. D right?!

15. You know the entire playlist

Kelly Rowland, Enrique, sometimes a little love ballad meets R&B. That's the Zara genre.

16. When an old song comes on

And you're in the changing rooms silent dancing. Unsettling all the dust.

17. You buy something floral

Enough hibiscus prints for everyone.

18. You survey the mirror

The folder of changing room selfies suggest that it's as we suspected... fattening mirrors!

19. You go in the TRF section

Something weird goes on here. It's cheaper, younger and verging on tacky at times but apparently this translates as buy it now. Oh well we can always wear it on Sundays.

20. Oh the statement necklaces

No one's got necklace game like Zara got necklace game.

21. The perfume counter gets you every time

But it's only £10 and this weeny one can go in my handbag.

22. They love to staple your receipts together don't they

That's why there's no room in my purse. Ever.

23. They do not like customers without receipts

Pedro will be onto you!

How does your Zara shopping trip go down? Tweet us @sofeminineUK

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