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I'm Fat, I Need Botox and What Is That Pose? 23 Thoughts Girls Have When They See A Photo of Themselves

by Lareese Craig Published on 4 September 2014
I'm Fat, I Need Botox and What Is That Pose? 23 Thoughts Girls Have When They See A Photo of Themselves© Google

Girls and photos just don’t get along. We love taking them but we love to body/face shame even more. As soon as the camera shutter goes off, that’s the green light to huddle round the screen and throw insults at ourselves. Honestly, what’s it all about? From Botox to double chins and bingo wings, here’s 23 of the most insane thoughts every girl has when she sees a photo of herself.

It doesn't matter how hot we thought we looked that night, a photo of ourselves will soon destroy that dream faster than you can say rolls of fat. The fact is, we're our own worst enemy. It's our prerogative to body shame and pick holes in ourselves because well, that's what we're the absolute best at! So what if we spend three hours getting ready? We're still no closer to looking like Cheryl Cole are we? *Sigh*

Here's 23 thoughts girls have when we see a photo of ourselves. Prepare to hear some CRAZY sh*t.

1. You’re sure that’s me… that’s what I actually look like? FML

It's way worse than you ever thought. You have got your dad's nose after all.

2. I have bingo wings now??

Wasn't that supposed to happen in thirty years time? Is there a skinny arm pose? If so we need to know about it.

3. What is wrong with my face?

Your mouth's doing something weird, you have a weird squint going on and your ear is poking out of your hair. Is it over yet? Make it go away.

4. Put a filter on that or it’s not going up

Yep, everyone's got THAT friend that kicks off at every. single. photo.

5. What was I wearing?

The moment you realise you didn't look hot at all. You looked stupid. Because you were wearing a bumbag weren't you?

6. I am SO effing fat

And should avoid carbs until further notice.

7. My eyes...

I was going for sexy and smouldering. I got constipated mugshot.

8. TGFF

Thank god for filters. Amaro the hell out of that sh*t.

9. Pretending to laugh...

That one friend that orders you to look natural? Throw something at her. Do it now.

10. This is what I want to look like

Get’s up, sucks in stomach, pulls at hips and gets into sweatpants with head hanging low.

11. Is my forehead really that big AND oily?

God damn you widow's peak. God damn you.

12. That pose is all kinds of wrong.

Since when was standing up straight not enough for us anymore?

13. Great I had camel toe and none of you b*ches told me

Now that's cut throat.

14. Clearly I don't have a good angle

Profile sucks. Straight on sucks. My face is just made to ruin photos.

15. Why was I pretending to look like I was having fun? I was NOT having fun!

Although to be honest, anything beats my bitchy resting face. No one should ever have to see that!

16. I was told I wouldn't get wrinkles until 30

Well guess what they lied. I'm 23 and Ive got more fine lines than a Bulldog in Benidorm with no SPF.

17. Arg, double chin

THAT'S why you don't eat bread before a night out #bloatage

18. Must consider surgery

Botox, nose jobs, fillers we'll take anything that's going right now if this photo is anything to go by.

19. Why can't I smile like a normal person?

I'm like the female version of Chandler.

20. This would have never happened if I was a Kardashian

The bitterness sets in that your duck face pout will never give you Kim K's cheekbones. Such a bummer!

21. Delete it, delete it now

If you don’t click on that tiny, beautiful icon of a rubbish bin, bad things are going to happen.

22. My knees, my legs! They're like the tree out of Pocahontas

Ain't no colours of the wind that can change my knobbly mofos.

23. Stupid British teeth

Those nashers should be illegal.

And what we should be saying!? Yeah, I brush up alright!

We've got to stop the shaming...but not until we take a decent photo...

This article was written by Lareese Craig. Follow her @Lareese_Craig

What do you think when you see a photo of yourself? Join in the craziness and tweet us @sofeminineUK

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