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A Man Has Invented A Lipstick That Glues Your Vagina Lips Together To 'Potty Train Your Period'

by Helen Turnbull ,
A Man Has Invented A Lipstick That Glues Your Vagina Lips Together To 'Potty Train Your Period'

In today's women-are-inferior-to-men news we bring you a make-up-bag 'essential' that promises endless comfort and convenience when the time of the month strikes. A man - who goes by the name of Daniel Dopps and practises as a chiropractor in Kansas, America - has invented a 'feminine lipstick' that glues your vagina lips together to stop period blood seeping out, putting an end to the monthly 'mind games' mother nature plays on us.

Don't get me wrong, periods are a b*tch but sealing our vaginas shut is not how we women should be encouraged to deal with them. Especially, in 2017. But that's exactly what Daniel Dopps is doing with his feminine lipstick which he claims is a 'revolutionary new natural approach to feminine hygiene'.

The Kansas-based chiropractor has invented a genital glue that's applied to the labia minora, creating a barrier between your menstrual fluid and the outside world. The blood is trapped inside the vagina until you need to wee when the adhesive is dissolved by the urine and the menstrual fluid is deposited in its rightful place - the loo, according to Dopps' way of thinking. He clearly skipped GCSE biology lessons as everyone knows urine passes out of the urethra, not the vagina.

More worryingly is the fact he refers to his 'genius' product as 'potty training for your period', claiming it's cleaner, healthier, more secure and carries less risk of infections than the use of tampons and pads but we're not convinced.

The ridiculous idea was spotted by a Twitter user named Tara who shared a screenshot of a post from Dopps' company's Mensez Facebook page which has since been deleted. The post read: "Mensez ends the period mind games, the blood stays inside where it should be and automatically washes away into the toilet every time you pee, you don't have to see it and you certainly don't have to touch it anymore" which explains exactly why it's sparked such a backlash among the online female community. Basic biology tells you period blood is meant to exit the vagina naturally, not be stored for hours, as part of its self-cleaning system therefore Dopps' invention is seriously flawed and defeats the point of mother nature herself.

I can't help but think the build up of blood will cause more pain and discomfort than standard period cramps as well as increase your chances of contracting Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) are inclined to agree with spokesperson Dr Vanessa Mackay telling metro.co.uk: "The labia minora (the smaller inner folds of the vagina) contain numerous glands, designed to secrete mucus to protect the labia from dryness and mechanical irritation. The urethra (from where women pass urine) lies between the labia minor. There is no evidence that the Mensez feminine lipstick is either safe or effective, and, if used, it may lead to dryness, irritation or infection of the vulva, vagina or urethra."

Despite this expert advice, Dopps is adamant the product is totally safe for use - although production is yet to start - adding to the site: "This is a patented idea, and I would never suggest anything unsafe and I can assure that before any product is on the market that it will have been fully tested and meet all regulations to assure its safety. I recognize that it has wider social implications and Mensez can improve the lives of women… Absorbent products are very old technology and I believe that in a modern world there is a better way."

Whatever you do, DON'T glue your vagina lips together with feminine lipstick or other. Period.

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Helen Turnbull
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